Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Does Hyunsu's Tragic Case Call for Closing ICA? - My Perspective

Many adoptees are upset at the death of Hyunsu. And they are right to be mad and upset. Their cries to investigation and justice should be answered soon, and the correction should be made not to repeat this mistake again.

However I strongly disagree with some of the messages being advocated by some adoptees. They are calling for a complete stop to the intercountry adoption, and they are going way beyond the mourning of Hyusu and have used the issue of Hyunsu as a political platform to demand the closure of of intercountry adoption. Mourning and feeling sad is one thing, and demanding correction is perfectly justified, but to demand a complete stop on adoption is going too far, and I felt compelled to speak up.

At the beginning, their messages mainly demanded the justice and correcting the flaw in the adoption process, and Holt and the other agencies have taken the brunt of accusations for failing to weed out the bad parents. But now their messages have turned to a broader demand that all intercountry adoption from Korea be halted. Worst of all, some are advocating even domestic adoption should be stopped. One person in particular have labeld adoption, either interncountry or domestic, is a form of child abuse.

Some are now stating that Hyunsu would have been better off staying with his foster parents in Korea. Perhaps, or perhaps not. If he doesn't get adopted, he is taken out of the foster family and put into an institution. What good is it for him to grow up in an institution? What guarantee does he have that he would be safe in an institution where he would be much more open to attacks by his peers and perhaps by adults?

At least through adoption the intention was to provide him a loving home. But the intention was not returned with good results. He clearly met the wrong family, and in his case the system failed. More inquisitive questions should have been asked during the homestudy interviews, and the agency went through all the protocols, even USCIS Livescan to check on his parents' backgrounds, but obviously he fooled everyone - the US agency, the Korean agency Holt, the Ministry, and the judges at the family court. They all failed him.

Like I stated before, no amount of explanation can satisfy his death. But adoption can't be blamed as there are many adoptees whose adoption experiences has turned out good. For them it worked, and for some it hasn't.

The adoption process has a long history of improvements and changes, but to some extent it is still a hit and miss process where you find the majority of the parents as good parents while missing out some bad ones. So the adoption process is not perfect, and improvements must be made constantly, especially through the lessons learned through the recent tragedy. The process will never be perfect, and it will not guarantee a successful outcome, even in the future.

However, do we stop giving the opportunities and chances to the children to grow up and make something of themselves just because of these fears? How realistic is it to make such an important decision or a policy based on highly charged emotions? The Korean government officials will meet with the agency directors to discuss this, and there will be plenty more meetings and discussions before something is decided.

If you think the adoption should be stopped because of the similar risks, ask yourself this question. Life has many challenges and risks for a child growing up. Does that mean that we should pass a law forbidding parents to give birth to their children? I think not.

It is important to distinguish the difference between a system having a flaw and pursue all we can to correct the system than to demand an outright halt to all intercountry adoptions because of the risk present. The risks and the consequences would be much greater if the children are to grow up without homes of their own.

16 comments:

  1. I completely agree with your arguement. Life is uncertain regardless of whether one grows up in their birth home or adoptive home. There are countless stories of abuse towards children from a biological family, too numerous to count. It is sickening and these people will one day be held to account for their actions. However, tragedies like the one done recently should not cause people to look at adoption as a negative. Being called to care for another person, specifically a child, is one of the most beautiful acts this life has to offer. Many families have been blessed by the joining of their adoptive child and I am, too, blessed to be a part of this journey that brings so much joy & peace.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Wow. Closing ICA? Do you really believe that ICA could be closed because of this? We are awaiting a court date...and I'm in shock.

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  4. OH my God! We are waiting for a audiance's date. Must be worried for our son?

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  5. I typically don't share quotes as part of a serious discussion, but I feel like this one is fitting.

    "By adopting a child and helping them reach their potential, they help us reach ours. An adopted child is not an unwanted child; to the contrary. They are a child who was searched for, prayed for, cried for, begged for, received by arms that ached, making empty hearts full. Love is meant to be shared. " ~ Author Unknown

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  6. I love that quote! It does an amazing job in emphasizing the love & effort involved in reaching the child. Adoption is purposeful love.

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  7. Wondering if you could give us a bit of an update on this?

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  8. Steve, have they continued to process adoptions and issue EPs and court dates?

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    1. While the government is looking into the investigation and the potential impact on the ICA, the EPs are still being issued, and the court dates are still being established.

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  9. HI
    we have a good new! Finally we have a date for our comparution. It 'll be 22th of April. We must be in Korea 15th to meet our little son.
    It was so long but with patience...We are so happy!

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  10. Congrats!!!! When were you submitted to court?

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  11. Thanks,
    We don't known when we have been submitted because in France the association doesn't known the date. Sorry I can't help you for deadlines.

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  12. Many adoptees are upset at the death of Hyunsu. And they are right to be mad and upset. Their cries to investigation and justice should be answered soon, and the correction should be made not to repeat this mistake again.
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  13. At least through adoption the intention was to provide him a loving home. But the intention was not returned with good results. He clearly met the wrong family, and in his case the system failed.
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