By the response comments that people post, it is easy to understand what really interests many of you.
You simply want the adoption process to move on so that your children will be home soon. Many have expressed their frustrations through the comments. I hear your cries. It's just that I wish I had the answers.
The process is currently hung up with the Family Court in Korea. There are many pending cases that have been submitted to the court and are waiting for the judges to clear the cases. Unfortunately, the pending cases at the court are still the EPs that have been approved for the year 2012. The EP process has not even begun for 2013. When asked why there is a delay in the court, the agencies didn't know. The agencies are waiting just like you folks.
Please do not blame the agencies, whether they are in your country or in Korea. As you wait the agencies wait with you. All I could guess is that the judges serving at the court are not familiar with adoption process and they are slowly and carefully learning the process. Even for domestic adoption, it is taking long time.
But I don't think the delays in the court will last. I am hoping that once the judges get into the rythm of the flow, the processing should move along much quicker.
I will continue to keep you posted. In the mean time, do not lose your hope.
Why?? This new law is a joke.. Almost 8 months since it starts and the court doesnt know what to do?? We are people they handle with not any criminal animals. The first cases was sent in to court early january and over 3 months after nothing has happened.. Somebody have to tell them that this only hurt the children, fosterfamily, adoptiveparents, the agency etc etc.... Dont have to be familiar with the adoption process to understand that?!? I understand that they want a new law, and that the adoptivechildren and birthmothers rights must be better, but how should been cleared before they started the new law... Not now 8 months later.. I feel sorry for everybody waiting for their child almost 20 months after refferal just because they dont know what to do in court. God bless!
ReplyDeleteThe new law is not a joke. The new law is an attempt by a very well intentioned government to try and improve a very difficult and complicated situation. To call the law joke is disrespectful to the wonderful country of our children's birth.
DeleteI agree with the reply above. As an adoptive parent of a Korean child, I find it offensive that you would call Korea's new adoption law a joke. The delays have been frustrating for all of us and - most importantly - for the children who wait so long to join their forever families. But make no mistake - we adoptive parents respect & honor Korea's authority to amend their own laws and I believe that the Korean government's efforts in this area have been very well-intentioned.
DeleteThank you Steve for being so kind to us. Many of us care deeply about the issues that you post about, but it is difficult for us to feel optimistic or hopeful about the changes or happenings when we are really in such a desperate place. We feel helpless and there is literally nothing we can do. For many of us, this process has become consuming. I think you are right, we just want our kids home...it's what is important now. So, courts, please please please let "soon" be actually very soon. I so appreciate you taking the time to blog. I know many of us are checking your blog multiple times a day looking and hoping that there will be news. We are thankful that you care for adoptive parents and the children.
ReplyDeleteAlso, do you believe that they will actually be able to complete the 2013 quota (as in do you think the process will actually speed up)? Any indication of the release of the 2013 quota?
Thank you Steve, Even it is not what we need to hear -
ReplyDeleteSteve, do you know if anybody is speaking the childrens case to the judges????
It seems like they dont know have much damage they make, they are also humen and should know how much the children will suffer being with their foster family for SO long, just to bee taking away from them - it is heartbraking :-(
I cry and I do not understand it is possible for anyone to bee so cruel? What about the humen rights - I dont think they are taken this rules serious.
What do you think is happen to all this children if the adoptiveparents are giving up?? Will the judges just think: what a releef, and then place all our children in a institution?? I dont understand that they (the judges and gouverment) dont are interresting in the best future for the children.?????
I have no more words
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with the wait and hope your agency can give you any support you need during the wait.
DeleteI think calling the delay while the courts figure out how to implement the new law a "human rights" violation is a little strong. The children are in loving foster homes being cared for and although their transition will be hard, it won't be something they won't be able to overcome. As a mother who has adopted three "older" children from Korea, I can attest to that coming home at age 3 will not ruin their lives, but not having their adoption be ethical certainly would. I'm glad the courts are taking steps to make sure everything is totally ethical, especially the initial relinquishment.
Korea has every right to implement their new law as they see fit. I don't think it has anything to do with being "cruel". In fact, I believe the delay is because the courts care VERY much about the rights of the children and birth mothers. Do they care as much about the adoptive parents? No. But WE are not the most important people in this equation, so I think the courts are right to focus on the rights of the child and birth mother.
Again, it sounds like you are having a really hard time with the wait, and I hope you can get some support to make you feel better. I don't mean to single you out when you are clearly hurting, but I also don't think your comments are an accurate reflection of what is happening right now or what most adoptive parents feel.
I believe the vast majority of parents waiting to adopt children from Korea do not have any intention of giving up due to longer waits, so please rest assured that is NOT an issue. We will wait as long as we need to.
If I did my job half as inefficiently as these courts seem to do...I would be out of a job. If they can't figure it out after 8 months, it really has me wonder what qualifications these people have to sit on the bench.
ReplyDeleteWe are a family who has been submitted to court. I'm just as frustrated and angry. However, in defense of the judges, 3 of the 4 are new to adoption. the 1 judge has had more time on the job. I agree that it shouldn't take this long and in the end, it's really the children who suffer the most.
DeleteSteve, is there anyone in the courts you can contact to see why it's taking so long? I know the agencies in Korea don't know and I think most of them are afraid/reluctant to ask why it's taking so long. Who is holding the judges accountable for doing their job properly? Is it even a priority for these kids to finally go home? Do you know how many cases are pending (international/domestic)?
Thank you.
I am the poster of the comment you replied to, and I want to clarify that I am NOT an adoptive parent waiting for a child to come home. I am however acutely aware of the situation and the more I learn and read, the more sad I am for EVERYONE involved. I can not image what the foster families and children will have to go through having these children in their homes for YEARS and how attached these children will become after so much time. No one (child, foster parent, adoptive parent or birth/first parents) should have to see these children languishing in "limbo" for years while the powers that be get moving. My heart breaks for all the children involved.
DeleteTo the poster immediately above:
DeleteI think it is highly inappropriate to question the credentials of JUDGES who are taking their time to implement a complicated new law in the best way possible. It is not only offensive to people that are obviously qualified to make judicial rulings, but it adds NOTHING positive to the discourse. In fact, all it could possibly do it be considered offensive, entitled, and ignorant.
Furthermore, my son is not "languishing in limbo" in his foster home. He's being spoiled, loved, and unselfishly cared for.
Please, I implore everyone, consider you tone before posting and ask if it would offend.
Sincerely, a mother who IS ACTUALLY an adoptive parent nervously, patiently, and gracefully waiting for a child to come home.
I would like to add, as an adoptive parent myself, that I am embarrassed by the tone & offensiveness in your comment about the judges. I hope that Korea knows that the majority of adoptive parents RESPECT the new law and believe that the judges are working diligently to process these cases. I think everyone in Korea wants what is best for the child and is trying to make sure the adoption process is as ethical as possible. That is what the adoptive parents want too. We are all on the same team here and I think making derogatory comments about the judges hurts everyone. Let's keep the welfare of the children waiting at the forefront of our minds & hearts. They are what truly matter here. And, as an adoptive parent, I know that I would wait for as long as it takes to bring my child home because we love her with all our hearts.
DeleteAdoption is not manufacturing cars. The goals isn't efficiency. The goal isn't to produce as many cars as possible in the fastest time for the cheapest price. We are talking about the lives of children. The goal should be an adoption that meets the highest ethical standards. By definition this takes time. I applaud the judges for taking the time to learn about the complexities of the process and do things right. Is the wait for my child to come home excruciating - absolutely. Am I proud that one day I will be able to tell my child that the country of her birth did everything possible to make sure her adoption was ethical - absolutely.
DeleteI live in a country where the bureaucracy and delays of the laws are shameful .... as you write above, if even me to work with these rhythms .... I'd be out of a job ... I would have been fired ...
ReplyDeletethere must be a time to figure out how to work ... and then work and do their jobs well .... for the good of the children and couples who are waiting to take them home for too long.
Last year we adopted our son after the *long* wait (16 months) with several ups and downs ourselves. I thought it couldn't possibly get worse, so I truly truly feel for the current waiting families. For real, I think of you every morning and hope that you've received news. I'd also like to adopt from Korea again, so of course this is close to my heart. I don't have any magical advice, but I guarantee once you get that Travel Call, this pain will go away. You'll remember it, but it won't matter anymore.
ReplyDeleteI just have a couple thoughts. 1- I think the judges ARE doing their job and that is why this is taking so long. It's easy to get caught up in thinking that they are negligent because we want it to happen now and every HOUR matters to us, so days and weeks and months are unbearable. I just think its important not to compare "our" jobs to theirs. From another viewpoint, DOING their job accurately is what takes time. Don't get me wrong, this wait you are experiencing is preposterous and there needs to be changes. It's not ok for children to be waiting this long. 2-My concern about the courts is that once they get things going, is it going to be time for a judge change again? It seems like there will never be time where they are caught up and the waits will continue to get longer and longer.
Thanks for everything you do, Steve.
I really dont think we cant stand to hold on anymore, if we do not get a timeline or any hope at all. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe concerns about it all the time, and it is so hard to our health, jobs and lifes that I think we are going to give up. I cry a lot and I see my dream as a loving parent slept away. And I am afraid that we dont are the only waiting adoption parent who are feeling this way.
I can not imaging to live like this in another half or hole year.
Thanks for the update Steve. Even hearing "no news" is better than nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to be concerned, though, that there is more than just bureaucratic incompetence going on here. I simply can't believe that it would take over eight months (plus the many months of warning they had that the new law was coming) to approve even one single international adoption case. Certainly in the US, courts sometimes act in a political manner, and I'm concerned that this is what we're seeing: That the delays aren't merely a court who doesn't know what they are doing, but in fact a court that is very intentionally trying to grind the process to a halt. I fervently hope I am wrong, but as my baby grows into a toddler without a family, it's hard to believe that anyone in the court is really working in her best interest. Have you heard any rumblings about that Steve? Is anyone actively lobbying the courts against adoption and could that be a major part of the problem?
This is one of the dilemma I face when I post something in the blog. The news may not be what the parents want to hear and I am constantly debating whether I should post it or not. News like what I posted may not help the families as I see it has invoked so many frustrations and anger. But on the other hand I feel they need to be aware of what's going on whether good or bad.
DeleteI don't know if anyone is lobbying the court, but my guess is that this cannot happen as things are being done in lawful manner. I will definitely take this on as my assignment and do my best to find out what's going on.
The issues you mentioned have been in the back of our mind as well. We are one of the pioneer family waiting for the court process approval. We also wonder, what other responsibilities do this judges hold that is taking them so long to process the cases?
DeleteThis blog and the information provided have helped us tremendously during this time of waiting. Thanks Steve and others who respectfully.
We meant "Thanks to Steve and others who writes their responses respectfully."
DeleteSteve:
DeleteWhen you ask yourself whether to post or not, please post. We need this information, whether or not it is frustrating or upsetting. Whether or not the wait is long and/or whether or not there are politics involved, we will keep waiting, and need your information. Thank you doesn't even begin to express our gratitude to you.
I think we can all agree that waiting sucks. Waiting blindly with no information is a whole extra layer of bleugh. I doubt that there is a single adoptive parent stuck in this process that hasn't felt frustrated, anxious, upset, depressed, hurt, confused, and angry at some point during this wait. I get it, I really do.
ReplyDeleteI would imagine that the judges involved feel a huge weight of responsibility to make sure that everything is in order and that they are sending children to good homes where they will be safe.
Since we have no control over the process, or how long it will take, the only thing we can have any measure of control over is how we deal with it. I'm not typically good at dealing with frustration or anxiety but, in my journey towards becoming a parent, I've had to learn to cope with these things and I consider this to be a hugely positive gift in my life.
If some families are really struggling emotionally I think it is important that they avail themselves of whatever support or counseling might be available as it is important to look after your health and well being throughout this process.
After 3 years trying and failing to get pregnant, another year spent on paperwork, and a year since our ATK date... I am just as 'done' with waiting as anyone else but I, like everyone else, wait and will continue to wait because I don't have a choice.
Do I think the process as it stands is particularly fair? No. Do I wish that more information was forthcoming? Yes.
I can be sad, I can feel fed up, and I can hope that things improve.
Throwing my toys out of the pram and implying that I'm going to 'give up' because I can't cope with the stress of the situation doesn't do me or anyone else any good.
I have to be stronger than that; I'm a parent.
Well said. Children are worth the wait, not matter how long. I might be sad or frustrated with the long wait, but I will wait as long as I need to for Korea to legally complete the adoption because I respect Korea and know adopting a children from that beautiful country is an honor, not a right.
DeleteThanks Steve. Honestly, the biggest frustration is the lack of communication on behalf of the Court. Why can't they have open communication with the Korean agencies? If they are working diligently to learn adoption law and paperwork then why do they not explain this to the agencies? It is the silence that makes PAPs fear the worse, i.e. that our cases are just sitting on a desk, that there is another agenda at play, or that our children are never coming home.
ReplyDeleteExactly what I'm thinking. There should be better communication between the courts - Korea agencies - US agencies - families.
DeleteThanks for your update, Steve. Even if you have no real "news" to share, please continue the updates. Also, my personal feeling is that I'd rather have bad news than no news at all. So, keep the communication coming!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
I agree completely! Thank you Steve!
DeleteWe must stay strong for our children. We can not fight the Korean government. Our children are counting on us. Satan would love us to give up, they are figuring this out. This is new to them. It has been many months. But I would wait forever for my child.
ReplyDeleteWe must continue praying and fasting for our children.
The Korean government is a successful government. The US and SOuth Korea are allies, they are no holding us up to punish us and certaintly not the children involved.
Everyone needs to be mindful of what is said on these blogs. Despite the families hurt and longings for these children, the anti-adoption elements are using statements and falsifying and manipulating what you say for their cause to end International Adoption. They have not the children's best interest in mind, but their own agenda. So, P/AP's listen up. Stop whining. Do it elsewhere on your own private boards. You aren't helping us look like we have the best interest of these children in mind. These are people, just like us, doing their best job in the courts. We pray everyone will have compassion and justice and look first towards children's current situation (vs. looking at disgruntled adoptees who want to end International Adoption for their own agenda).
ReplyDeleteKorean Courts and MOHW, these parents and families on this board are ready to love and bring these children into wonderful families and environments. They will educate them on Korean culture. All these families want and desire to travel to your beautiful country to share in that culture and experience with their children. We implore you to look towards the best interest for your people. The foster families have taken on much for caring for these children and it will be more difficult as it goes on, if they are not united with their forever families. They are temporary care for the child. The bonding and attachment period for these children, the longer they are in foster care and not in their forever families, is challenging for the children. We implore you and pray for you to please help them be united forever with their adoptive families.
Although I am waiting for my child (who is already 2.5 years old and has special needs that need weekly therapy), I appreciate that the courts are taking their time to implement a new process under the New Law. I want to be able to look my child in the eye and tell him that his first mother was given the proper support to make the choice she made. I want to look him in the eye and tell him that his birth country wanted to make sure his citizenship was safe when he was adopted. There are always delays with new laws, especially ones like this that so drastically change so much, but I am appreciate that when things do start moving in the courts again, it will be because the courts have taken their time to make the strongest process possible to protect the children and first mothers, the two most important people in this situation.
ReplyDeleteSo I will wait. I will be sad to wait so long. I will worry about him getting older and older with his special needs continuing to impact his life. I will worry for his foster mother, who didn't know when she took custody of him almost 3 years ago that she would be raising a little boy, not a baby. And if it means I need to spend 3 weeks in Korea or make multiple trips, I will accept that as a blessing of getting more time to explore a country I have loved on past trips and a blessing of a strong adoption and citizenship process. I will do whatever the courts ask of me, whenever they ask it of me.
I will wait, and I will be grateful for the chance to adopt a beautiful child from a beautiful country in the most ethically and legally way possible.
I feel exactly the same way. I know the Korean family court, the agencies and MOHW have nothing but the children's best interests at heart. The family court is taking their time because, obviously, the need to take their time in understanding this process and making sure everything is legally correct. My husband and I have waited 9 months since being matched with our son and will wait as long as they need us to in order to make sure his adoption is legal and ethical.
DeleteWe fell in love with South Korea 5 years ago when we went to Seoul to pick up our daughter. We're anxiously awaiting our upcoming trip to not only pick up our son but to also show our daughter her birth country. Although our patience wears thin from time to time, we know that while we wait our son is in remarkable care with his foster family
Thank you for your comments. I feel the same way. I appreciate that the courts and judges are doing a careful job to make sure that the adoption is ethical and legal. Protections of child and first mother is of utmost importance.
DeleteThanks, Steve. It's hard and scary to wait, but I have faith that the courts and agencies are doing what they think is best for the kiddos.
ReplyDeleteAs this is read globally, I want to simply say three things:
ReplyDelete1) Thank you to Steve Morrison and MPAK. You are a lifeline for all of us!
2) Let us all put our hearts and minds to prayer for the Courts and Judges...that they will make decisions that benefit the children recognizing that time is a huge mitigating factor.
3) Korea is the Land of morning calm. it is time for us to share that sense of calm, though we are grieved that everyday that passes, the children wait longer for families who want them more than words can say.
I know that Korea loves these children and wants them to grow up well cared for by families who want them and will be loving, supportive, responsible parents. I am sure those responsible for implementing the New Law are working hard to insure it is done properly. The Ministry and Court officials care about abandoned children and have a great responsibility in carrying out adoptions.
ReplyDeleteI wish the Courts could be more transparent but I know they are working to make the laws better for birth mothers and children. As long as the birth mother is contacted prior to travel, we would love to travel and stay in Korea for 4 weeks to learn about our son’s birth culture if the Court decides to proceed under a different visa again.
ReplyDeleteI am not waiting for a child right now but we waited 15 months from referral to travel call last year and we will start a new procedure soon. I want Korea to know that we are very honored that we could adopt a Korean child and that we know that the new law is set up for the best of the children and that we will wait for our children no matter how long it takes! We respect Korean courts and we respect Korean people and we don't take it for granted that we can adopt from their beautiful country! It is a gift and we will always be grateful!
ReplyDeleteWe're another family who respects the Korean courts and the difficult task they are working on right now. If the courts decide that an IR4 visa or longer stay is the right course to take, we'll figure out a way to make it work. We love our daughter in Korea and respect that everyone is just trying to do what is best for her.
ReplyDeleteThank you Steve for your work! I do appreciate all your stories you blog about and read them all.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to wait patiently for movement. I know the courts must be working very hard and respect that. We are very excited to travel to Korea as my husband is half korean and loves everything about his culture and heritage! He has been there once before and can't wait for me to see Korea.
Thank you Steve for the post even though it had no NEW news it was nice to have an update.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to wait but I will wait as long as it takes for the baby God intended for our family to join us and having your blog to look to along the way is so helpful.
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ReplyDeleteAs hard and exhausting as the waiting is, I truly believe the courts are working very hard to get everything worked through. When the waiting is over, and we know that our children were properly relinquished, without any doubt, this will be worth it. I, too, am hopeful for some sort if timeline soon...more communication from the courts, but in the meantime, I will consider it an honor to wait for this child.
ReplyDeleteWe are another family waiting patiently for movement. We are blessed to have the opportunity to adopt from Korea and will wait as long as it takes to welcome our child home.
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a way to let the courts and MOHW know how thankful we are to have the opportunity to adopt a child from their country. We DO believe they have the best interest of our children in mind, we DO know that they are working to figure this new law out, and we WILL wait for these little ones no matter how long it takes. And we are thankful for their help in this process!!
ReplyDeleteWe are a family that is also in the process to adopt. We know we have no right or claim to the children of Korea. I do want to express that I know the courts and the staff of everyone in the ministry is very hard working and doing the best for the children. We appreciate the fact that you are considering the children and making sure this process with current children is ethical. We appreciate your due diligence in contacting birthmothers and making sure this is their decision. We know how hard of a job you must have and that hearing so many voices in this process from all sides of this is hard. We know you will administer justice and mercy and compassion for the children. We are honored and thankful that we have the opportunity to adopt and help a child from Korea learn and see their country annually. As my husband and his company in the US do a lot of business in Korea, we are excited about the opportunity to share the Korean culture, people and country with others in our life (and we hopefully the little boy we are hoping to adopt). My husband and I will be travelling each year to Korea with this little boy (if we are so lucky to adopt him) to visit, share everything and visit his foster family. He will also learn his native language and be fluent in Korean. We are rooting for you Courts and MOHW. Stay the course and we continue to pray for you. Many of the potential adoptive parents are willing and able to do whatever Korea asks and requires of families that want to adopt a beautiful child from your country. This includes traveling for extended period and appearing before court. We will ensure these children will be citizens of the country they are adopted into.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing gift a child is! I will continue to wait to bring our son home with as much patience as God gives me. I will be forever grateful to Korea for the care they give to their precious orphans and the process they go through to ensure they are placed with loving forever families!
ReplyDeleteNever giving up HOPE! I believe everything happens for a reason, and if the courts need this time to figure out the new law, than I am going to deal with it. Waiting is hard, but this isn't about ME!
ReplyDeleteI won't lie, this wait is hard. We have one son who was adopted from Korea and are waiting on another son to join our family. We are so thankful that we were allowed to parent our beautiful son and are raising him to love and respect his mother country. He is so excited about becoming a big brother. We are grateful to everyone in Korea for allowing us to adopt another child, and know how hard everyone there is working to make sure these children are placed for adoption ethically.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the update! I know that the courts are giving careful consideration to make sure that they know the process. I pray things will speed up soon so children can be with their families. I am also thankful that as I see corruption in many other countries when it comes to the adoption process that we can be sure that Korea is doing everything in it's power to make sure that doesn't happen. Waiting is so hard on this end, but I know it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Steve, for your dedication to Korean adoptions. We are also waiting to bring a son home. I won't lie, this wait is very hard. But this is not about me. And no one ever promised it would be easy. This is about these children. And I commend the courts and MOHW for making certain these adoptions are carried out lawfully and ethically. I do hope the time frame shortens, so that the transition is as easy as possible for these beautiful children, but in the meantime, we support the officials in Korea and trust that they'll make the right decisions.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how much I love a child that I have not met yet. The road might be bumpy and long but he is worth the wait. I will cherish and love him. I will honor his birthmother and his culture. I am learning about his country and cannot wait to see it. I'm learning Korean so that I will be able to speak to him in his native language. I know that the Korean courts and ministry are working hard to do what is best for the children. A child is a blessing and I will never take that for granted.
ReplyDeleteWe are waiting for a son from Korea. It's hard for us to imagine why things take so long, but then again, we know that the courts and ministry are just trying to make the new process right the first time. Change always comes with a learning curve. We will wait patiently and hopefully. We appreciate the courts allowing us the chance to adopt this precious boy!
ReplyDeleteWe can't wait to go to Korea and explore the culture. We are learning a lot about it now and are working with a Korean tutor. Our whole family is going to go to a Korean school at a local church.
Thank you Steve for the encouraging news. We truly appreciate the judges' hard work and diligence - I was adopted from Korea many years ago and we understand what an an honor and privilege it is to be able to participate in Korea's adoption program. We remain ever hopeful that we will be given permission to travel to Korea to bring our child home and become a family. We send our prayers, hope and thoughts to you, the judges, the agencies, the foster familes, and all waiting families.
ReplyDeleteWe will wait, for as long as it takes, because a child's forever is worth it.
ReplyDeleteHonored to be waiting for the chance to adopt a precious child. Willing to do whatever is needed. Grateful to the courts for their continued work on our child's case.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are waiting for a referral for a child from the Korean adoption program. One of the reasons we chose the Korean program is that we found it comforting that our child will be loved by a foster family and cared for before he/she can join our family. We will raise our child knowing what a selfless decision their mother made and how their country was kind enough to let them be raised in a loving family instead of an orphanage with no family. Adoption is a true gift, a way for us to grow our family. Please help all the families waiting to be united understand the path that is to be taken to grow their family. We are willing to do whatever is needed. We understand adoption is about the children. We want to know what we can do to help the ministry make their decisions so the children can be united with their family and that Korea has faith in the people & process.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are waiting for our precious son. We struggle with the wait bc we love him so much already and are so eager to begin our lives with him. We chose the Korea program bc we were so happy to immerse ourselves in the culture and explore his beautiful country. We have been learning all about Korea while we wait, are trying to learn some of the Korean language, and have built friendships w/ other Korean adoptive families here so he will have friends to grow up with who have similar backgrounds. Our hearts break at the length of the wait and the unexpected changes to the law. But we also appreciate that one day we will be able to look our child in the eye and tell him this truly was the plan his birth mother made for him. We will wait as long as we need to for the Court to become familiar with the new law. We have the utmost respect for Korea, our son's loving foster family, and all the people. We are so thankful to Korea to allow us to adopt one of their wonderful children and call him our beloved son.
ReplyDeleteSteve, thank you so much for your posts! Even if it's news we may not want to hear, or "no new news", it is still incredibly helpful to get information. I think we are all just information hungry these days : ). We dream of the day we can meet and hold our son and are so grateful that you are continuing to advocate for the children. We are still awaiting word on BM re-relinquishment, and will support her decision if she does decide to parent, but we will not stop loving on our boy! My parents (his halmuni & harabuji), who live in Korea, also cannot wait to meet him! I think it's almost harder for them on some days because they are in such close proximity to him, but have yet to meet him ; ). We are in it for the long haul! Aja aja! Fighting!
ReplyDeleteIf the courts ARE reading the blogs, then I'd like to address them.
ReplyDeleteDear Your Honor,
We are a family hoping to adopt our daughter from Korea. We have been waiting almost two years to bring her home. We fell in love with her the moment we laid eyes on her. she was about 9 months old at the time. I don't know how to describe it, but we just knew she was our daughter. We are a Korean heritage family and it's funny, but a lot of people say our daughter looks like a mix between my wife and me. We were fortunate enough to visit her last year. We were hoping to bring her home early this year so we tried to time our visit so we wouldn't be as foreign to her.
As you know, she's still not home. We wanted to take another trip to Korea to visit her this month, but with the uncertainty of the process, we thought it be best if we saved our vacation days and money in the event we are called to go to Korea for more than 5 days.
I'm at a loss of words when it comes to how frustrated we are. We respect the Korean laws and will abide by them. We realize the adoption process is sensitve and must be dealt with the utmost care. However, I hope you take into consideration our plea to allow us to bring our children home soon. No one seems to know what goes on inside the court room walls. We are all just sitting and waiting for you make a move. We are not judges so we have no idea what it takes to do what you do. I do know, you have all earned your rights to be there to review our cases and make your final judgement.
My plea is simple. Please, let us go to Korea so we can pick up our children soon. The foster care system is great. However, it's taking a toll on the foster families. Some have had life changes so the children have recently been moved to a different foster home. Please consider the impact this has on the kids.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
In a world that is often upside down it seems, what a joy to see the hearts of the faithful pour out their unfailing love for children they already "call their own." Having named the children, sent gifts to them, bought clothes and prepared a room for them, and waited and watched for any word of them, they are God's chosen people. They understand "adoption." They get it. Often, other people do not get it in the same way. For some of them, this is the only way they can create a family, while for others, it is a way of enlarging a family that is so loving and caring that one, or two more children will add to the wonderful group that wants to welcome them home.
ReplyDeleteThese families yearn for the children who were first revealed as "waiting to be adopted." That yearning never ceases. Months pass as these people spend days watching homecoming videos of children who have already been adopted. They dream of the day that they will be the ones in the video bringing home their child.
God's chosen people are a special group. They have a strength and a resilience that will stand for as long as they have to wait. Having watched this process for almost four years, and having read countless stories of people whose faith has sustained them, I believe that in this dark world, these people shine a desperately needed light.
These words of scripture say it best: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Blessings to all those who make the decisions, who care for the children, and who wait.
What a great post. Thank you. My daughters and I watch homecoming videos each Friday night. It's become sort of a fun routine for us. It's always exciting to find a new one that we haven't seen before. We talk about and wonder what that moment will feel like. It's neat to think that while we watch these videos, others across the country may be watching the same videos...hoping, praying, and yearning.
DeleteIt's hard to explain to people that this is something that you've been called to do. It's incredible to have this group and other groups of people who don't doubt this for a second.
Good news is just around the corner...
I am so happy to see all of these positive posts. As I am waiting for my son to come home, I have been saddened by the negative comments on this page. I know they do not represent the majority of adoptive parents. Yes, we are frustated by the delays and simply sad that these children have to wait so long to come home to their families, but we also understand that we have no right to these children and support the Korean government in making changes to the law. We know that ultimately the government and courts have the best interest of the children in mind.
ReplyDeleteI too believe that good news is right around the corner! Our son turns 1 yr. old tonight(Korean time) and when we blow out his candle- our wish will be simple- Let the Court be able to move forward as soon as possible while upholding the best interest of the child and integrity of the new law. God bless all the children and beautiful families waiting for these precious children.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your son! Once he is with you, he will be with you forever.
DeleteHappy Birthday to your son
DeleteThank you Steve for everything you do on behalf of the children in Korea who need families. We are the proud & grateful parents of a beautiful 4 year old son who was born in Korea. We were able to bring him home at 12 months old in 2010, and I remember at the time being frustrated about the wait time but I knew that we were so incredibly lucky that Korea was allowing us the amazing privilege of raising one of their children. What an honor! We have taken that honor very seriously. We love him more than words can express. He is the best thing that ever happened to us. We have been to Korea twice now and have fallen in love with our son's birth country - the people, the culture, the language, the food, everything! We cannot wait to return. In the meantime, we've learned some Korean language, we celebrate all the Korean holidays with our son, and we are proud to count many Korean Americans among our friends who are helping us educate our son on Korean culture. Next year, our son will attend Korean school on Saturdays and I hope he will join Tae Kwon Do classes, too.
ReplyDeleteNow we wait for our daughter to come home from Korea. She is 9 months old, the most beautiful baby we've ever seen (aside from our son, of course!), and she is living with the most wonderful, loving foster family who is providing her with a stable & happy home while she waits to join her forever family. We have faith that she is growing up healthy and with lots and lots of love.
The wait is incredibly hard, but like some of the commenters above I believe wholeheartedly that the Korean government and the judges at the family court have the best interests of the child in their hearts & minds, just like we adoptive parents do. Because of this, I know they are working diligently to process these adoption cases. The new adoption law implemented in Korea last year was a very well-intentioned law aimed at ensuring that everything in the adoption process is as ethical as possible. This is of paramount importance to all of us, and as adoptive parents we want to make sure we can tell our children this when they are older. These safeguards are necessary and important. We applaud Korea for passing this new law. We hope and pray the process speeds up so babies can start joining their forever families. That is what is best for the children. Our frustration in the delays are not important, but the children's well-being is and we pray that will be the driving force in the process going forward.
I want to thank the Ministry and the court for their hard work so far. I also think the Korean adoption agencies have been an amazing force of good in advocating for the children and the birth mothers. I am in awe of the social workers there who dedicate themselves to giving these children a better life. Of course, the foster families will always have a special place in our hearts. They are truly doing God's work and their willingness to raise these babies and then hand them over to their forever families is a truly selfless act of sacrifice that we will never, ever forget and can never repay.
For the record, I want the judges to know that we would love the opportunity to come to Korea to appear before them to tell them how much we will love our daughter and how we will provide for her for the rest of our lives. That we will honor her culture and her birth parents. That we will never stop loving her. That we will stay in Korea for as long as they need us to. That we will wait as long as is necessary to bring her home, and that would never, ever, ever give up hope or stop waiting. She is worth the wait - no matter how long it takes.
Steve, I find it incredibly sad that some adoptees have had a difficult time in their lives and that breaks my heart. However, I do wish that the vast majority of adoptees could express their opinions too. Most of them are just happily living their lives and not involved in the politics of adoption in Korea. I know because two of them are my cousins. They are both in their thirties and have children of their own. One is a pediatrician, the other is a lawyer. They are amazing women who love their families so much. They are two of the most well-adjusted, happy individuals I know. They were adopted from Korea in the 1970s as babies and grew up in New York in a very loving family. They returned to Korea a few years ago and met their birth families. It was a profound experience for them. One of my cousins (who has 3 biological children of her own) plans to adopt from Korea herself. I just wish the stories of these adult adoptees could be heard, too, in the midst of all this debate. They are out there, living their lives and being successful, happy adults. They are our friends, our family, our neighbors ....
ReplyDeleteSteve, I know it only Tuesday morning but have you heard anything on movement yet? Anyone hear anything that had court dates on April 5th and 10th?
ReplyDelete