She
Wanted to Take My Younger Brother. I Asked Her “What About Me?”
An
Interview with Steve Morrison, Founder of MPAK
By Kim Ji Young, Reporter, OhmyNews
Born in 1956. Nationality, the US. Hometown Mukho (Donghae
City) in Kangwon Province. A graduate of the Purdue University in the US. A
Senior Project Engineer at the Aerospace Corporation. A satellite systems
engineer. Married with a Korean-American woman, has two sons and three
daughters. Of the five children adopted two sons. Separated at five from
biological family. Birth father, dead. Date of death unknown. Birth mother,
rumored to be dead. Younger brother, no news of him. Adoptive father passed
away in 2006 at 84. Adoptive mother is 91, in a nursing home in Colorado
Springs.
A Korean adoptee, Steve Morrison will be turning 60 next
year. His Korean name is Suk-Choon Choi. His life is indescribable with
countless stormy life events. On May 10th at a hotel café in Myeongdong District
in Seoul, I interviewed Steve Morrison, who was visiting his motherland to
attend the National Adoption Day event.
In the year 2000 when he was 44, Morrison was at the
forefront of the very first Gathering of the Korean Domestic Adoptive Family
Conference, which was held in Kwa-Chun Civic Center. The year before, he
founded the Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea (MPAK) which is the first
non-profit organization consisting of adoptive families that have decided to be
transparent on their adoptions (as opposed to keeping it secret).
An overseas adoptee Morrison is the pioneer in bringing
about a significant change in the Korean adoption culture in Korea as he is the
first to spread the concept of transparent adoption in Korea. He is considered as the Godfather of the adoption
movement in Korea, and as a successful adoptee himself, I was curious to know why
Morrison was so committed in his endeavor to bring about positive changes in
the Korean adoption culture while spending much of his personal time and
resources. And I believe his life itself will tell the story.
The
Separation of a Family of Four
I arrived early at the café. As I was waiting, Morrison
walked towards me, with a slight limp. I glanced at him. His left knee did not
bend. Then, I realized he was handicapped. After we got our coffee, Morrison
began his story.
“I lived in a hut that was made out of hays, overlooking
the East Sea. I remember the trains loaded with coals passing by, and there were
military vessels and fishing boats floating in the ocean. I also remember the
sun rising above the horizon. It was a very peaceful sight to behold.”
Morrison was about 4 or 5 years old, not exactly certain
about his memories but that was the picture of his family he remembered – mom,
dad, and a younger brother. However, this peaceful image soon turned into dark.
“I heard my dad’s business failed. I do not remember
clearly but I think we were pretty well off at one time. But, ever since the
failure my dad kept drinking. His face would become red and his eyes were
furious – it was scary to at his face. Then he started beating all three of us,
especially my mom.”
“Every day my dad drank, and my mom was physically abused.
One day, while he was beating my mom, my dad stopped and had his eyes off for a
second. Then my mom quickly put her shoes on her feet and ran away. Later,
Morrison got to meet his mom at grandmother’s house but never after that. He
clearly recalls the day his mom rushing out of the house, away from the father’s
abuse.”
“I wasn’t born as a handicap. One day I was at my
grandmother’s house, my right foot was swollen overnight. Then, I bent my knee
but never could get it straighten out again. The day my mom left the house, I
was taken to the hospital on her back. She was a very compassionate and
kind-hearted woman.”
“On our way to the hospital, she asked me, “My dear, if
your father lays his hand on me tonight, will you please tell him to stop?” How
desperate she must have been to ask that to a five years old son. However, my dad came home drunk that night
and started to hit her again right before my eyes. Mom did not say a word.”
“Many minutes have gone by, yelling and beating. My brother
and I woke up at the commotion and we were confused and scared and started
crying. As I watched my mom getting beaten, I finally remembered what she asked
me to do. I took the courage to go up to my dad and asked him to stop. He
looked at me with a look of embarrassment and said “I’m so sorry, my son. I’ll
stop now.” But within a minute or so, he started strike her again.”
“My mom could not handle it anymore and tried to escape.
But, soon after dad found her, brought her back in and started beating again. When
he took his eyes off of her for a second, my mom finally succeeded in escaping
him.”
Although that moment brought a traumatic loss of his mother
and the last time he would ever see her, Morrison seemed relieved as he described
it as “successful.” He could never live with his mother again, but he was at
peace knowing that this was the only way for her to be safe.
After his mother had left, Morrison and his younger brother
of three years old lived a life of the homeless. Frequently dad would leave
early in the morning and not come home for days without contact. To the
brothers, their father really did not exist. It was 1961, only 8 years after the
Korean War. It was a period of hardship as many Koreans faced starvation
without the aids from the US. How would
the two brothers of five and three to survive?
“During the day, my brother and I would walk around the
streets, always keeping our eyes on the ground. We were looking for coins.
Luckily, we found some almost every day. We would then buy some bread and other
foods. It doesn’t mean that we never starved.
In fact we looked pretty terrible.”
The brothers have lived like this for days. One day they heard that their father had been
arrested by police and never could reach him after. These young boys had no way
to find him and that was the end. However, the boys did not miss him. To them,
he was like a devil who made their angelic mother run away.
The brothers were all alone. Their only way to survive was
to walk around the streets. One day, a lady who sold the steamed crabs on the
street, and who was often kind to the boys by giving them some free steamed
crabs, decided to take the younger brother home to raise him.
This lady bought new clothes and shoes and put them on my
brother. I was so envious. As she was taking him away, I asked her “What about
me?” She said she couldn’t take me because of my leg. That was the last time I
saw my little brother, and neither of us would realize that it would the last
time together. I was only five… That was
the last time I saw my little brother Dae-Chun.
It took less than a year for the family of four to be disintegrated.
The loss of his angelic mother and his younger brother that he roamed the
streets with, would bring pain and longing for the rest of his life.
Deepest
Longing ‘Adoption’
As Morrison roamed the streets alone, he was later taken to
an orphanage in Kwangwon Province with the help of a gentleman who found him.
Shortly after, he was taken to the Holt Children’s Center in Nok-Bun Dong with
the hope of surgery on his left leg. Although he was separated from his brother
because of his leg, it was his leg that enabled him to move to a better
facility.
At the time, Korea was one of the poorest countries in the
world and the children in orphanages hardly had chance to be domestically
adopted. Common households were struggling to have three meals a day - that
would be considered luxury. Nobody in Korea could even possibly imagine or hope
for adoption. The only hope for the orphans was to be adopted abroad.
He was happy at the Holt Children’s Center. He no longer
had to look for food on streets, and always had new clothes and shoes to wear.
He would get along well with his friends playing with marbles cards, and
enjoying soldier plays. He was well
taken care of by the loving hands of Mr. and Mrs. Holt.
Morrison also got a surgery on his leg where before he had
to press down on the bent knee with his left hand to support his weight.
However, this time the problem was the other way around – his straightened knee
now would not bend. He couldn’t avoid walking crippled, but he didn’t have to
support the knee with his hand. He was thankful and content with it.
He went to school and had a reasonably good grades.
However, there was a deep longing in his heart in spite of his happy life at
Holt. He missed his mother and his brother. Although he was five years old at
the time of separation, he knew the love he has received from his mother and
the dedication that she showed. One day
while he was looking out from the fence to a neighboring village, he saw a kid
going to a picnic holding hands with parents, with a huge smile on his face. With
a feeling of a lump in his throat, he remembered how he longed for a family of
his own.
Like the other orphans that were being adopted to the US,
he also wanted to be adopted by a family in the US to be loved. Time flew by as
he graduated from an elementary school and entered into 7th grade. In the
meanwhile, many of his friends were adopted abroad, but many others were left
in the center. He remembers wondering, “Why am I not being adopted?” To be
adopted was his biggest hope and dream.
He was in his 7th grade year in the middle school.
At that time the law did not allow overseas adoption once a child passes the
age 14. That means that after February
27, 1970, Morrison had to give up his hope of being adopted and stay in the
orphanage only until certain age, having to be on his own after that. Adoption
was the only way of escape for him to go out into the world and have a shot at
being successful, and also put him in the path of his family he always dreamed
about.
Although his life at the orphanage was so much better than the
life of living in the streets before, yet he yearned to have his own parents, and
to have a chance to get educated in a good environment, and to become
successful in life.
Towards the end of 1969, Morrison’s picture was along with
30-40 other orphans that were featured as the ‘children in need of homes’ section
in Holt’s bi-monthly magazine. There was a note under his picture describing that
there was not much time left to for him to get adopted as he was nearing the
age 14. Eventually, 11 American families
reached out wanting to adopt him.
On May 28, 1970, Morrison got on a plane to America with a
Bible and his diary in a bag. He was
fourteen when he arrived.
“My parents had two older sisters and a son the same age as
me. There was also a 12 years old Amerasian brother that was adopted two years
earlier. We got along so well. We often
played board games in the living room. My father was a biological scientist
working under the government and my mother was a stay home mother. We were not
rich but in the middle class.”
“My father was a modest, graceful, and a humble man. So was
my mother. I felt loved by my parents and the five siblings got along very
well. The way my father treated my mother was such gentleman-like. It was an
awkward sight when I first saw them kiss every day, but as time went by I
realized how beautiful it was. It made me think of my relationship with my
biological parents back in Korea. It was complete opposite. It was then I
witnessed the true image of being a good father. ‘This is how a husband is supposed to treat his
wife. This is how you love your children.’ I dreamed that one day I would
become such a wonderful father myself.”
“I
Could Not Believe...the Transformation in My Life”
He was a good student. Math
was his strength in school. He also enjoyed studying Physics and Chemistry. It was
shortly after when Neil Armstrong took the first step on the moon in human
history on July 20, 1969. In the middle school, he remembered reading all about
Neil Armstrong in a youth magazine in Korea, and being fascinated by the space
technology, and he aspired and dreamed about going into space.
When he was about to graduate
from high school, he received numerous acceptance letters from colleges.
Without hesitation, he chose to attend Purdue University where Neil Armstrong
majored in the Aeronautical and Astronautical Engineering.
“I studied so hard during those 4 years. My parents were so proud of me.
To see them being proud of me was very special to me. Right
before graduating in 1979, I got several job offers from big aerospace
companies. I just needed to take the final graduation exam and that’s it – I’ll
be going out into the real world.”
“I studied late into the
nights as I was studying to pass the final examination to graduate from the
college. One day I got a call from my mother
saying that my father had a heart attack and he’s not doing so well. I was shocked
and so heartbroken… I so wanted to just drop
everything and run to the hospital to be beside him, but I could not give up
the last exam. Every day, I called my mom to check on dad and went back to
study, and call again and study again. Thankfully, the surgery went well and my
dad was recovering. Right after I passed my exam and got my diploma, I took a
plane to go see my father.”
“As I went into the room, my
dad still had several tubes into his nose and arms, and he looked very weak and
pale, but conscious when I saw him. I went up to him and held his hands and
handed him my diploma. Lying down with no strength, he opened it and read it
out slowly word by word from beginning to the end. I was watching him from his
side, and as he ready my diploma I was deeply moved. I was so touched… As weak as he was and as
pale as he was, he was my hero and my role model. Despite him being weak, I
remember being so proud of him. I’ll
never forget that moment.”
“Then I got to think about my
early life as an orphan merely nine years earlier. An orphan who was separated from his family,
a boy who could not even afford a bowl of rice, is now scouted by several high
tech aerospace industries with good salary and benefits, and a company that
would give me a chance at a graduate school on a fellowship program with more
opportunities…how could this be possible?”
“I then thought of my
childhood days of living on the streets of Kang-Won province. I was very proud
and at the same time very grateful. I was moved when I remembered the sweats on
the forehead of Harry Holt as he worked so tirelessly for us at the orphanage.
I cannot even describe in words the love of my American parents. I couldn’t
believe it. I remember asking in amazement how this could all this be
possible?”
While he realized that his
adoption has provided a life of abundance, his heart ached whenever he
remembered his friends that remained in the orphanage and would never realize
their full potential. Especially for
those few whom he considered smarter than him and those that were handicapped.
He was very sorry that they didn’t get adopted.
In America, he knew that disability would not be a hindrance to him. But
sadly it is a big hindrance in Korea.
Just before he graduated he
made a promise to God. That he would
donate a portion of his earnings to the Holt International. And he kept that promise. This was the seed that gave a ray of hope to
move the Korean adoption culture from a dark history shrouded in secrecy to
being a culture of transparency and dignity.
Finding
Korea Again After 13 Years
As he made his monthly
donations to Holt, Morrison was invited to a regional Holt office opening in LA.
There he met Grandma Holt for the first time after leaving Holt Il-San
Children’s Center. He was invited to go on a Motherland Tour to Korea with
other adult adoptees, and after 13 years of leaving Korea, the orphan boy
returned as a man in 1983. In that same year, he was also selected to serve on
the Board of Director at Holt. He was 27 then.
Five years later in 1988, the
Olympic was held in Korea. It was the opportunity for Korea to shine to the
world and the world’s attention converged to Korea. As the beauty of Korea was
being shown to the world, there was a segment in the news that Korea still
sends children abroad as an ‘orphan exporting nation’, and this infuriated many
people in Korea. Right after this there
was a flood of criticism against intercountry adoption and calls for the
complete stop to this ‘national shame’.
“I could not understand their
anger. It didn’t make sense to me that children are being sent overseas only because
the Korean nationals don’t adopt them.
And how can they criticize foreigners for wanting to adopt the children
that they didn’t want? If they have
adopted and have done their parts to solve the problem, then they can say such
things. These were some of the questions
I remember asking myself. Even now they don’t adopt.”
“Why don’t Koreans adopt? How
can I change the culture of adoption in Korea? After much deliberation, I came
to a conclusion that transparent adoption was the solution. It was the secrecy in adoption that held
Korea down for generations with no improvement in the adoption culture. As long as adoption was viwed as shameful,
embarrassing, and fearful, the culture of adoption in Korea would never change
for good. The only way to reduce the number of intercountry adoption was to increase
the domestic adoption.”
In 1999 he founded the
Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea (MPAK) in America, then in late 1999 he
took the movement to Korea. MPAK was
established in Korea, and the beginning of the movement to bring about positive
changes to the Korean adoption culture through transparency in adoption took a
root in Korea. In the Fall of 2000, he
held the first ever conference to promote domestic adoption in Korea at the
Kwachon City Civic Center.
In 2006, the first National
Adoption Day (May 11) event was held in COEX building in Samsung-dong in Korea.
In 2007, the number of domestic adoptions has exceeded the number of
international adoptions for the first time.
For15 years after founding
MPAK, Morrison takes his personal vacation from his work in order to visit
Korea at least a couple times a year. This year he visited Korea on May 7th
with packed itinerary schedule that consisted of attending several events and meeting
with some important individuals regarding adoption. He returned back to America on the18t h
of the same month.
He will visit Korea once more
sometime this year. While it is true that the Korean adoption culture has
improved significantly over the past 15 years, the ratio of secret adoption to
transparent adoption is about half and half.
And this is a reason enough to continue to drive him to visit Korea.
