A Great Father to the Fatherless...The Legacy of Bob King

Mr. Bob King, a great husband to his wife Donna, the father of 12 children (three by birth and nine by adoption) passed away on Tuesday, January 7, 2014 at his home at Moreno Valley, California.  He passed away peacefully after succumbing to the liver cancer even though he never drank. 

 

What sets apart the very life of Bob King from the others is that the way he chose to live his life.  He was very unassuming, extremely humble to the core, and compassionate beyond anyone’s imagination.  He truly loved his wife Donna, and he was a real hero to his children.

 

He was a man of true integrity and his faith in God never wavered, even in his pain and seeing the face of death knocking at his door, he never complained or ask God the question “Why?”  He had a profession as a computer engineer, but served his country as a reserve US Navy Commander.

In the beginning he had a harmonious life with his wife and the three kids he raised.  However, he and Donna heard the plight of the homeless children in Korea and heeded to their needs.  His incredible adoption journey started in 1987 when they adopted David from Korea and after him came four more children from Korea.  Except for David, they were all special needs children.   He also adopted a girl named Lena from India, also a special needs child who couldn’t walk because her legs were bent forward at the knees instead of backward.  Lena came home and got operated, and she is walking tall today, and is working as a clerk at an Air Force base.  Three more children came as they all required special needs. 

Bob and Donna King's Family, 12 children, 12 grandchildren, and one more on the way

I met the King family over the years at the Holt Picnics, and also got him involved as a member of the Board at Holt later, and two of us became good friends.  I even invited the King family to one of our MPAK picnics where they shared their adoption story.

In 1998, then President of Korea Kim Dae Jung and his wife Madame Lee Hee Ho visited the US, and several adoptive families were invited to participate in a dialogue session with the First Lady.  Both the King family and our family were invited.  In the meeting, the First Lady was captivated by the young boy named Adam King, who had titanium legs, and she immediately fell in love with him.  In a question and answer period, Adam King, who must have been seven years old at the time, abruptly asked the First Lady, “Will you invite us to Korea?”  The First Lady, somewhat taken back by this surprise question said that she would.

Late in 1998, the Madame Lee Hee Ho kept her promise and invited all the families present at the gathering, and I recall there were around 19 families.  Madame Lee treated us royally, including a special invitation to the Blue House. Bob King was the speaker that represented all the adoptive families, and thanked the First Lady on our behalf.

Adam King, Madame Lee Hee Ho, and Bob King

Madame Lee loved the King family, especially Adam King.  She invited them to Korea again where Adam was given the honor of throwing the first pitch at a professional baseball game.  The image of the boy in the titanium legs with a baseball uniform and a cap throwing the first pitch became a national sensation, and the story of Adam King and his family spread wide in Korea.

 

Adam King throws the first pitch at the season opener in Korea

The story of Adam King, and the love of his parents elevated the issue of special needs adoption to a new level in Korea.  For most Koreans, they were witnessing an example of extreme love at its best.  They questioned, how can this family from America adopt such a child? How can they love a child like this?  And most of them were thanking the King family in their hearts for taking in the child that Korea could not keep, that Korea rejected, and that Korea could not love. 

Without a doubt, this was what impressed the Madame Lee the most, and she thanked the King family for loving an unlovable child from Korea.  It wasn’t just one child, but four other children from Korea.

In late 2012, Bob lost his job due to the Government sequestration, and was without income for a whole year.  The life insurance they had through the company terminated when he was laid off.  They were living off of the savings and from the proceeds from social security.  Bob has given his lives for his children.  Now the incredible burden has fallen on Donna as she is left with the remaining children in care.  While some of the older children have grown up and left the King’s nest with families of their own, Donna has the incredible challenge of taking care of the seven remaining children that are all special needs.  With very limited income and resources in Donna’s hands, my heart goes out to the King’s family, and want to reach out to the adoption community and the Korean community for helps.   

A few days after Bob’s passing, my wife and I visited Donna and her children to console and to pray for them.  Before we parted our ways, I asked Donna what is one thing that she would characterize or remember about Bob.  Without hesitation she said that Bob truly loved the Lord, and he was a very loving husband and a friend, and that he gave his best for his children.  As for the children, they said that he was the best Daddy they could ever ask for, and that he was an amazing man of God. 

My wife Jody comforts Donna



Jody and Me, Donna and Adam, who is now 22

I am complimenting how Peter looks like a football player, and everyone bursts into a laugther

 

For those who are around the Southern California area and wish to participate in the Funeral, you may come and honor Bob’s life and comfort Donna and their families on this Sunday, January 19th at 3PM at:

Discovery Christian Church
27555 Alessandro Blvd.
Moreno Valley, CA 92555

If you are unable to attend, but you want to support Donna and the children, you may send your gifts to MPAK, and 100% of the proceeds will be given to them.  MPAK is a nonprofit 501 (c)(3) organization where your donations are tax deductible.

MPAK
15532 Wilder Avenue
Norwalk, CA  90650

Please mention “Bob King” in your check.

Or, another way is to click the “Donate” button on the upper right side of this blog page to donate through Paypal.

We will miss you Bob!

A Great Father to the Fatherless...May You Rest in Peace in the Arms of God.

While the Government Closed Its Eyes, the Baby Box Accepted 300 Babies

This is an editorial that appeared on the Kukmin Daily on 12/27/13
In Korean: (http://news.kukinews.com/article/view.asppage=1&gCode=all&arcid=0007884080&code=11171111)

I translated it as shown below. The figure was obtained from another news article, and it shows the drmatic increase in the rise of the abandonment of children after the Special Adoption Law was enacted starting August 5, 2012.

The Editorial by Kukmin Daily

"While the Government Closed Its Eyes, the Baby Box Accepted 300 Babies."

Since the enactment of the Special Adoption Law on August of the last year, the number of babies being abandoned is continuing to soar.  For the past 16 months there have been only the arguments surrounding the law but no action to resolve the problems.

Since its inception of the Baby Box on December 2009 at the Jusarang Community Church located in Seoul Kwanak-gu district, there have been over 300 children abandoned.  It is chilling to think what might have happened to these babies if the Baby Box was not around.However, the government claimed that the existence of the Baby Box violates the intents of the Special Adoption Law, and pressured the church to shut down the operation.  When the church resisted the government cut off the existing financial support to the church. The Baby Box is now being supported by the offerings and the donations, as it struggles to meet its needs.  The question that I want to ask is how the government can administer its policy in this manner.

From the beginning the Special Adoption Law has been very controversial.  The law changed the adoption reporting system at the city, region, and district level to the adoption approval process through the court, and required the birth registration as a condition to process for adoptions, and the seven-days waiting period by birthmothers before they can relinquish their children for adoption.  The government thought that this law would be highly effective and result in the better records of birth parents, stop illegal adoptions, and reduce the number of abandonments of the babies.

But the results show too many unexpected fallouts.  The unwed mothers in their teens are afraid of being identified through the birth registration requirement, and the adoption process has become impractical and complex through the use of the court system. Already there is a movement to revise the law, and the Anti-Corruption & Civil Rights Commission continues to receive many complaints regarding the law. 

Fortunately the City of Seoul has announced on December 26^th, that they will utilize the social service helps from the other regions starting new year to stave off the shortage of hands in taking care of the children that came through the Baby Box.  To do this the city has raised the budget to handle this from $2500 this year to $15,000 next year.  However, there is still a shortage of social workers and professional helps through weak management.  Therefore the babies under a month still may face the risk of safety if things are not handled properly.

Even if the intent of the law was good, if it results in so many negative consequences, it needs to be re-examined. The government must come up with a solution to remedy this.  Is it conscionable for us think that these children that have been brought into this world without blessings be handled so carelessly?

Silent Night and a Memory Trigger it Brings

The First Christmas – Silent Night and a Memory Trigger it Brings

The two boys huddled to warm themselves before a small fire burning inside a makeshift tent-like hut. The hut was so small that a grown-up man could not stand. The boys ages must have been around five and the younger one around 3 ½. The night was dark and cold with knee-deep snow outside.  The boys had barely eaten anything all day long and they were hungry. 

All day long they walked the streets looking for food and rummaged through the discarded trash, and they walked the streets in hopes of finding a coin or two to buy something to eat, but the snow made it difficult for them.  So, it was going to be another night of going to sleep with hunger.  Their bodies itched with lice, and they would take their clothes off and heat it near the flame without burning, and would watch the lice crawl out of the seams and the boys would kill them off one by one. In a shiver they would quickly put their clothes back on.

Then out of the darkness and into the hut came in their father, with a big smile on his face, and he was in a good mood.  The boys thought something was unusual with their father, who would usually come home drunk and often beat their mother and the boys.  A few months earlier the mother, who could not stand getting beaten every day, ran away from home.   So it was unusual for the boys to see their father come home with a good mood that night.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of pieces of breads wrapped in a newspaper, and gave it to the boys.  Then he surprised the boys by singing “Silent Night, Holy Night”… that’s all he knew of the song.  So, he repeated it again and again several more times but did not know the rest of the song beyond “Silent Night, Holy Night”.  The boys didn’t understand what the song was about as they had never heard of such a song before.  However, they eagerly devoured the bread and were content that their father was in a merry mood and happy they had something to eat that day. The boys would long remember that there was something special about that night.

On typical days, the father would leave the hut in the morning, leaving it up to the boys to fend for themselves.  He left no food or drink.  Each day the boys roamed the streets looking for food to eat.  A few months later the boys would learn that their father is captured by the police and put in a jail.  For the first time the boys are without both mother and father, and they are on their own. 

But the boys were able to survive each day as they continued to roam the streets, and able to find something to eat.  There were some kind-hearted people that would pity the boys and give some food. There was one particular woman who sold steamed crabs under a bridge where the boys’ hut was, and she took interest in them and would often give them free crabs.  She was kind to them, and the boys liked her.

One day the woman decided to take the younger boy to her home to raise him, leaving the older one behind.  She bought new clothes and put them on the younger one and took him home.  The five years old boy is now all alone for the first time.  It was the last time he would see his brother.  He was envious of his brother who now didn’t have to roam the streets looking for food to eat or be cold.

A few days later the older boy would be found by a gentleman, and he is taken to an orphanage.  He stayed there a few months before being transferred to another orphanage to get surgery on his crippled leg.  There he met hundreds of other children in the orphanage.   There he met Harry Holt and his family.  

On one cold Sunday, the orphans were all gathered up in a chapel, and there they sang the “Silent Night, Holy Night”.  As the boy followed along and learned the song, he thought he had heard the song somewhere before.  Then he remembered…it was the same song that his father tried to sing a year earlier where the father didn’t know the rest of the song. The boy learned to sing the rest of the song and knew it was a special song. 

All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin Mother and child!
Holy Infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Son of God, love's pure light,
Radiant beams from Thy holy face,
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.

Through the years as each Christmas rolled in, whenever he heard or sang this song, it would trigger the boy’s memory that would always drift back to the time when he first heard the song from his father.  And each year the meaning of the song became more and clearer to him in a special way, but at the same time mixed with sadness.  As the boy grew into an adult, his heart sensed a feeling of compassion for his lost father, who eventually died without ever knowing the rest of the song, nor the status of his children.

Despite all the pain and abuse the boys suffered under his father, that snowy Christmas eve night, a long ago in a small hut, the terror became peace as the first Christmas spirit was experienced by the boys.  The father who could not sing beyond “Silent Night, Holy Night”, at least made a special night to remember for this boy, who would later bear the name of Morrison.

Merry Christmas.   

 

Capt. Tim Paolini, US Navy - An American Soldier as an Adoptee Santa

From the Chosun Daily in Korea
In Korean (http://news.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2013/12/19/2013121900082.html)

Here is the translated version:

An American Soldier as an Adoptee Santa

“I came to give back to what I have received as a child.”

Adoptee Captain Tim Paolini

Capt Timothy Paolini of the US Navy visited the children to deliver the presents at the Holt Children’s Center at Seoul’s Mapo-gu District on December 13^th.

“Wow, it’s the Santa!”

The volunteers shouted as a young man with the red toy bag appeared.

The young man was Capt Tim Paolini (29), a Korean-American who visited the children at the Holt Children’s Services in the afternoon of the 13^th.  He has been serving in Korea as a captain for the US Navy since February of this year. 

Born in 1984, he was abandoned at the Suwon train station when he was just three years old, and was subsequently adopted to the US through Holt. 

Capt. Paolini visited the children at Holt to present them with toys. As a part of the Toys for Tots program, Cap. Paolini prepared since November by coordinating the toy drives among his troops, and placing the posters throughout the base to get the words out. 

The eyes of the five children that were at the care opened wide as the Capt. Paolini entered.  As soon as he opened the red toy bags, the children clamored around him eagerly.  There were teddy bears, toy excavators, cars and many other toys that came out of the bag and the children could not take their eyes off. The Capt. Paolini was afraid that there might not be a good reaction by the children, but once he saw how children reacted he was very happy and smiled big.

“I feel like I have traveled past through a time machine” stated Capt. Paolini as he looked at the children, for as he saw in them the images of himself 20 years ago.  He said, “As I look at these children being loved and cared, I think that there must have been someone who also helped me. Thinking of that makes me grateful.” Paolini said with a heart full of contentment.

The toys that he and his troops collected came through the donation boxes set up inside the Yongsan Base.  Over 2000 toys were collected through this program. Because he could not attend the official toy give away ceremony on 19^th, he brought over 40 toys to share with the children.

As he looked over the children, Capt. Paolini was very grateful that he was given the chance to be adopted.

Update from Korea on Adoption Progress

I have the latest number of adoptions as of 9/30/13.  There was no data available for October or November, yet.  But as of 9/30/13, there have been approximately 490 domestic adoptions, and 140 intercountry adoptions completed. 

As of 11/30/13, the total number of domestic adoption cases submitted to the family court is around 650.  Based on this number the EPs can be submitted to the Ministry of Health and Welfare (MOHW) for intercountry adoption.  Using the 2/3 rule, this would be around 430, the number submitted to MOHW for application for the EPs.  Of course the significant portion the 430 EPs have already been approved and many have been submitted to the family court for the finalization.

The big question is, how many more EPs can MOHW accept and process while their office is slated to move to the Sejong City on December 13th and will last at least a week or so.  I asked my source whether this means all the adoption process by MOHW is essentially over for the year.  I was told that it isn't over, as MOHW stated that they will still try to process as many as they can before the year is over.

The new director at MOHW (whom I have met in Korea) is being praised for taking the issue of the EP approval seriously and being much more agressive and prompt with the process, but he sticks to the rule and does not bend easily I am told.  But he is much more effective in getting the number of EPs approved. 

My source tells me that the domestic adoption application to the family court will exceed 700 this year, thus allowing a room for 465 or so intercountry EPs accepted by MOHW. However, one must be aware that it takes time for MOHW to clear all the EPs, and many of them won't be approved until early 2014.  But the thinking is that all the EPs accepted by MOHW in 2013 will count as the total number of intercountry adoptions from Korea this year.

I am hopeful that the application for domestic adoption will reach 750, thus giving 500 EPs for intercountry adoption this year.  While 500 is way short of the initial quota of 743 set for the year 2013, the speed has picked up quite a bit lately under the new director, and for the judges the process has now become more of a routine process for them.

A Tragic Decision by the City of Seoul on Baby Box

Below is the statement that came from Ms. Young Ran Jeong of the Jusarang Community Church, which houses the Baby Box. I ask for your prayers that God will reach out to the hearts of the government officials to protect the lives of the innocent babies. I love many things about Korea, but certainly this is not one of them.

----------------------

Here is Ms. Young Ran Jeong's message:

This morning we received a call from the person in charge of the Baby Box at the Kwanak-Ku office.  I was told that the city of Seoul and the Seoul Metropolitan Children’s Welfare Center (서울시아동복지센터) and the Seoul City Children’s Hospital (서울시립어린이병원) had a discussion and they have decided they will no longer accept the babies abandoned through the Baby Box.

They have concluded that other than in emergency situations, they cannot accept additional babies as there is no spaces available in the institutions in the Seoul areas.  They told the Jusarang Church (where the Baby Box is) that it would be up to them to take care of the abandoned babies from now on.  The city was scheduled to come on Thursday to pick up the children, but they will not do that now.  They also stated that the best solution is for them to move to another area region other than Seoul.  The other regions have enough rooms to accommodate the children, so it would be good for the Baby Box to move there. 

I asked whether it would be possible for the city of Seoul to contact the regional areas and arrange to have the children be transported to those regions.  But their excuse was that this would not be possible without changing the administrative related laws.

I also asked the city employee to help the Jusarang to host a children’s center, but was told that if the condition was ideal for Jusarang this would be no problem (stipulation that Jusarang does not qualify under the current facility regulation as they are not legally approved to take care of children as the facility is too small).    

They were clearly aware of our limitations, and I could not believe the city was telling me these things. The room at our facility for the newborn babies barely can hold seven babies…and what are we suppose to do for all the children that continue to come to our care…and we can’t even help with the birth registration matters.

I think the bottom line message from Seoul is that they want us to close the Baby Box.  Because there have been lots of pressures in the past to close the Baby Box, now the government is using this devious scheme to shut us down.   Why can’t they understand that closing the Baby Box is not the solution?

Outside the weather is very cold, and how can they think in this way when just a few days ago there was another news article where a baby was discovered abandoned somewhere and the baby was in a critical condition!!!!

We are at a loss as to what to do as they didn’t even give us how much time we have, but they just dropped the news on us.   We can only pray.

I ask for your prayers that this sticky situation will be resolved soon.

-----------------

Young Ran Jeong's message in original

오늘 이른 아침 관악구청 베이비박스 담당직원으로부터 전화한통을 받았습니다. 서울시와 서울시아동복지센터와 서울시립어린이병원과 이야기를 나누었는데 더이상 베이비박스에 들어온 아기들을 받을 수 없다는 것입니다. 정말로 긴급히 병원에 가서 꼭 치료를 받아야 하는 아기를 제외하고는 더이상 받아 줄 시설이 서울에는 없다는 것입니다. 이제부터는 주사랑공동체에서 알아서 하라고 하더군요. 낼 목요일이 정기적으로 아기를 데리러 오는 날인데 낼부터 아기를 데리러 올 수 없답니다. 가장 좋은 방법은 빨리 지방으로 이사를 가는 것이랍니다. 지방 시설에는 자리가 많이 나기때문에 그쪽으로 베이비박스가 가면 괜찮다는 것입니다. 

 그렇다면 현재 베이비박스에 보호되는 아기들을 서울시와 연계해서 지방으로 보내면 되지 않겠느냐고 했더니 행정절...차상 법을 다시 바꿔야 해서 안된다는 것입니다. 그럼 우리가 일시보호소를 운영할 수 있게 해 달라고 하니 조건만 갖추어준다면 얼마든지 할 수 있다는 겁니다. 주사랑공동체 열악한 환경을 뻔히 알면서 어떻게 이런 말이 나올 수 있는지...신생아실로 쓰고 있는 믿음방은 신생아가 7명만 누워있어도 어른들 자리가 없는데 앞으로 베이비박스에 보호되는 아기들을 어떻게 해야 할지...그렇다고 출생신고를 할 수 있게 해 주는 것도 아닌데 말이죠..

 결국은 베이비박스 문 닫으라는 소리나 다름없는 거죠. 베이비박스 폐쇄압박이 직접적으로 먹히지 않으니 이렇게 우회적으로 돌려 이야기는 하는 정부의 형태가 참으로 어이가 없고 기가막힐 따름입니다. 이제는 베이비박스 문을 닫는다고 해서 해결될 일이 아니라는 것을 왜 모를까요?
날씨는 점점 추워지고 있고 며칠전에도 바깥에서 버려져 아기의 생명이 위험해진 기사를 봤을텐데도 이런 생각이라니!!!! 언제까지 기한이 정해진 것도 아니고 어떻게 해야 할지 참 막막합니다. 현재로써는 기도할 뿐입니다.

 이 문제가 원만히 잘 해결 될 수 있기를 간절히 기도해 주세요.

Family Court Adds One More Judge

I tried to sleep, but the sleep wouldn't come. So I decided to get up and update my blog.  I have been back to the States for three days and still going through a tough time in adjusting to the Pacific Time zone.  I had a very fruitful 10 days trip to Korea. 

The family court in Korea has added one more judge, bringing the total number of judges to five.  However, this new judge is dedicated solely for the purpose of adoption hearings.  Apparently, the four judges that have been summoning the parents so far were not always dedicated to the adoption cases as they ruled on other family related matters at the court. 

I asked my source whether this addition of a dedicated judge to the adoption cases would mean quicker court proceedings, but they weren't sure.  They weren't sure whether the existing four judges will continue to be involved with the adoption processes at their usual paces, but augmented by the addition of the fifth judge, or that the four judges will have a reduced roles in the adoption hearings due to the addition of this dedicated judge. No one has the clear answer.

However, the new judge has already summoned some families, thus giving clear evidence that the court has five judges that are handling the adoption cases now. 

I have also heard that the EP process has picked up some speed under the new director, who I happened to meet at the MPAK conference.  I had a brief exchange with him, but it was more on the issues of the special adoption law. 

This year’s quota was set at 743, and the number of EPs submitted to the Ministry of Health and Welfare is now around 50% of the quota (currently around 375) as of mid-November.  It is expected that by the end of the year, we can expect the EP approvals to be closer to 425, which is still a way short of the quota level.

If the year 2013 can be considered a year of experimenting and a new learning process for all (the agencies, the Ministry and the family court judges), coming short of the quota is understandable.  But I am hoping that when they set the new quota for the year 2014, I expect them to meet it 100%.  At least that's what I'm hoping for.  But if the past is any indication, that could be a challenge.