Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Increase in the Baby Abandonment - Is Media to Blame?

Despite the significant increase in the number of children being abandoned, the anti-adoption organizations and the Ministry of Health and Welfare (MOHW) and its child organization the Korea Adoption Services (KAS), which should be advocating for the rights of children, have joined together to criticize the Baby Box’s existence and to explain away the rise in the number of abandonment was really contributed by the news media (and no other reason), and have voiced against the revision of the Special Adoption Law.  This is very disappointing to say the least.   

However, I have to admit that the news media has contributed to the number of abandonments at the Baby Box.  But there is a significant difference in the rationale advocated by the anti-adoption organizations / MOHW/KAS and that of mine. Their motive for blaming the media is that this is the only way they can explain the rise in the number of abandonment to defend the Special Adoption Law, while I know the real reason for the increase in the abandonment is due to the Special Adoption Law that forces birthmothers to register their babies against their will.   Also, there was a significant number of abandonment at the Baby Box already in existence right after the law came into being in August 2012.  And the news media flocked to cover this, not the reverse.
A birthmother who recently abandoned a baby at the Baby Box left a note that said, “I was turned away from an adoption agency, and thought about going through a black market type of adoption.  But for the safety of the baby I chose to come to the Baby Box.  So we can learn two things from this birthmother’s note.  The first is the awareness increase by the birthmothers that they have a safe place to abandon their babies.  However, the second thing we can learn from the note is that many birthmothers have tried to give up their children at adoption agencies, but have been turned away (without a birth registry the agencies cannot accept the babies for adoption).  Some have even considered some sort of black market type of adoption.  When they had nowhere to go they turned to the Baby Box.
To simply say that the number of children being abandoned at the Baby Box is the result of media coverage, and that this media has helped to plant the idea to the other birthmothers, only give the impression that the group consisting of anti-adoption organizations and the Korean Government are trying to wash over the serious flaws in the law.  They should not make further mistakes by trying to deny that there is flaw in the law.  The Korean government needs to acknowledge that the law is imperfect and try to revise the law to correct it.
In that spirit the press conference held on February 19, 2013 with the Rep. Baik Jai Hyun at the National Congress with the ‘Committee for the Revision of the Special Adoption Law’ is such an important step and a good start. The committee consists of Pastor Lee, Jong Nak of the Baby Box, Mrs. Han Youn Hee of MPAK, a celebrity named Mr. Chu Young Hoon, and a few others as well.  This is also supported by all the adoptive families, and over 500 churches and many organizations in Korea.
A celebrity Mr. Chu Young Hoon speaks at a press conference at the National Congress building, flanked by other members of the Committee for the Revision of the Special Adoption Law, led by Rep. Baik Jai Hyun (left of Mr. Chu)

If everyone could put themselves in the voiceless children’s perspective, they should do all they can to stop anything that endangers the lives of children before we begin to argue about all the issues regarding them.
I hope that MPAK will continue to do everything it can and come to the defense of all the voiceless children, as we have always been.

Friday, January 25, 2013

A Bill Named ‘Les Miserables Cosette Adoption Law’

Cosette is a little girl who is cared (adopted) by Jean Valjean in Victor Hugos novel ‘Les Miserable’, where the story has been told through many versions of movies, plays, and musicals over the years, most notably through the recently released musical movie.  This movie is also very popular in Korea as well.

Rep. Baik Jai Hyun, who sits on the Committee of Women and Families, has just recently filed a bill named ‘Les Miserables Cosette Adoption Law’ to save the lives of the babies born from the young teen mothers as many babies are abandoned in the streets and elsewhere. 

The purpose of this bill is to amend the current Special Adoption Law that makes it mandatory for birth mothers to register their babies, and also to amend the ‘reconsideration’ period for birthmothers where they must keep the baby for seven days (whether they want it or not) after the births before giving them up for adoption or into the care of institutions. 

This new amendment is the result of the sudden rise of the number of abandoned babies just after the passage of the Special Adoption Law in August 5, 2012.  With all the rhetoric offered by the anti-adoption coalition in Korea (KoRoot, TRACK, ASK, KUMSN, and Gong Gam Law Firm) that still refuse to deny the increase in the number of abandonment is the result of the new adoption law, this action is seen as an effort by the Korean Government that saving the innocent lives of children is their utmost interest.

It was obvious there was a sudden increase in the number of children abandoned just after the law passed in August 2012.  For example, 28 children were abandoned during the first seven months (Jan-Jul) of 2012, and 41 children were abandoned during the remaining months of the year.  Instead of the usual practice by the young mothers relinquishing their children through adoption agencies, they have instead turned to black market adoptions, or abandon them on the streets, trash bins, subways, restrooms, and other means, and in some cases killed or left to die.

This has also brought an unintended consequence that goes against the intended objective of the law, which was to provide more complete information on birthparents for adoptees.  Also, there are over a thousand children that were not birth registered before the new law, and this is especially true of many special needs children.  For these children the adoption process has become more complicated and drawn out, and most of these children will be placed into institutions. 

Yesterday I spoke with an orphanage director in Korea.  She stated that there has been a sharp increase in the number of children being admitted into her facility right after August 2012.  She was concerned that she and her staff in Korea is overburdened with the increased number of children in her facility with the limited number of staff to take care of them.  She also said that she has never seen that many children come into her care in such a short time in all her experience.   

Rep. Baik stated that “At the 18th Congressional Session the Special Adoption Law was passed with a good intention in mind, but this law has backfired with several unintended outcomes that are just not practical nor acceptable. No matter how promising the law is, if it does not address the current reality it must be amended to improve the situation.”

The amendment will remove the requirement that birthmothers must register their babies into their family registry, but leave the parental information with the adoption agencies where they will be kept closed from public.  The record will only be opened when both an adoptee and his/her birthparent agree, or under some special exceptions requiring medical related information. 

Also the amendment will revisit the requirement where the birthmothers are required to keep their babies at minimum seven days before deciding to keep the baby or not.  The amendment will allow a room for birthmothers to relinquish their babies immediately after the births if they wish to.  The amendment will also make it more favorable for special needs children to be adopted as they are more likely to be abandoned.

Rep. Baik also stated “This amendment’s ultimate objective is to protect the lives of innocent babies from being abandoned or killed.”

Despite this effort, the anti-adoption coalition held a press conference at the nation’s capital to protest the amendment bill ‘Les Miserables Cosette Adoption Law’ sponsored by the Rep. Baik Jae Hyuk.  They maintain that adoptees have the rights to their records to seek out their birthparents and reunification. 

This is where I differ from them.  What good is having a good record if in the process a child is abandoned or killed, or left to die?  Even if 100 or even 1000 adoptees benefit from their records but results in the loss of a life, it still is not worth it.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Good News - The Adoption Law May Get Revised

Good News - The Adoption Law that Blocks Adoption Will Be Re-examined

When the news first broke by a major newspaper in Korea on 4 January 2013, that the new adoption law was causing abandonment of many babies, and that it was hindering the adoption of many homeless children, many other media outlets carried the similar stories on daily basis.  In addition many adoptive parents have filed the complaints on behalf of the children, and the babies being abandoned at the Baby Box operated by the Rev. Lee Jong Nak was featured on national news frequently. 

A movement has begun by members of the National Assembly to take this matter up and review and revise the new adoption law that has resulted in the abandonment and loss of many babies.

Rep. Baik Jai Hyun of the Democratic United Party (민주통합당), who serves on the Women and Families Committee has stated that a revision to the new adoption law that will provide exception to birthmothers not wanting to register their babies will be made, and that the records pertaining to family relation will be kept by the agencies and make it available only if the birthmothers and adoptees agree to open mutually.  Rep. Baik will introduce the revision bill at a National Assembly meeting scheduled in February 2013. Rep Baik stated “There is definitely a problem when the law that was supposed to protect the children would bring harm instead.”

Rep. Kim Myung Yun of the Saenuri Party (새누리당) is also involved with the revision effort.  Rep. Kim has received the position papers on the revision from MPAK-Korea and also from Holt’s One Heart adoptive parents support group.  He stated, “The current law is so far removed from the reality that we need to examine and revise the law accordingly.”
 
This is a very encouraging news, and hope that the law will truly serve for the best interest of children, whether they be raised by birthmothers, adopted domestically, or internationally.
 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Irony of Adoption Law that Blocks Adoption

The Irony of Adoption Law that Blocks Adoption

Recently there have been many news articles in the Korean media such as TVs and the newspapers criticizing the Special Adoption Law that was passed in Korea last August 5, 2012.  In fact there have been many adoptive parents and professionals and news media that have called for the elimination of the new law or revise it to save the lives of children and to allow adoption of homeless children.  Our MPAK website in Korea (www.mpak.org in Korean Language), has been busy with the comments by many adoptive families that are calling for action to put a stop to this, and the nation is taking notice.

The irony is that the Special Adoption Law that was passed to serve the interest of adoptees and birthmothers has become a complete fiasco that has tremendously reduced the number of adoptions taking place - both domestic and intercountry.  It is the irony of the adoption law that blocks adoption.

See the figure to see the dramatic changes that this new law has brought.  This figure will show a dramatic rise in children being abandoned (abandoned not for adoption, but through Baby Box, police stations, door steps, alleys, orphanages, etc).
 




The new law, which requires all birthmothers to register their babies in their family registries, was designed to help grown adoptees to find their birth families later in life.  But there are so many children being abandoned in Baby Box, subways, door steps, trash bins, and in many cases these children are found dead. 

While the law was designed to help grown adoptees to locate their birth families by forcing unwed birthmothers to register their babies in their family registry so the record will be available for returning adoptees, the law was passed without due regard to the reality of the Korean adoption culture. 

Because the new law forces birthmothers to register their babies, the great majority of the unwed birthmothers are afraid that their past improprieties will go recorded and remain with their records for life.   A significant number of them are teenagers or even in their 20s.  These girls do not want their young lives to be tied down by the responsibilities and obligations they were not prepared to handle, and to face their parents or friends in such situation would bring them tremendous humiliation not only to themselves, but to their families as well. 

For these girls, the requirement to register their babies from unwanted pregnancies is like a death sentence as they will be tied down for the rest of their lives.  They may have to give up schools, their prospect of getting married is significantly reduced as most men do not want girls with babies…the pressure to adhere to the new law at such young age is tremendously stressful, thus causing many girls to opt for secret abandonment.  This is the reality of the current adoption environment in Korea.

Here is a heart wrenching note left by a birthmother when she left the baby in the Baby Box.

“I am sorry to do this upon my baby who hasn’t even seen the light of the world…Because I can’t raise this child nor have the ability, the adoption is a better alternative.  However, I have already looked into adoption, but due to the changes in the law I am required to register the baby, and I cannot get a hold of my boyfriend as I needed some documents…I have no one to discuss this with, so I searched for the Baby Box, and I know I will be punished for this by God, and I am so sorry to do this for my baby, but I had to give up the baby this way…Please raise my baby well as her only fault was to meet a wrong mother like me…I have no other places to go or hope..Please help. Please.”

 
Here is another note by a different birthmother giving up her baby.

“The baby was born August 22, 2012 at 12:25.  I have no choice but to give up this baby like this as I have left my husband due to the trouble with him and the in-laws.  But we are not divorced yet, and there is the first child, and I am afraid to register this baby under my name.  And I cannot even give this baby up for adoption due to the new adoption law.”

The new adoption law requires the birthmothers to register their babies.  Without registering their babies they cannot legally give up their babies for adoption.  They have been turned away from the adoption agencies and other facilities as these organizations have been instructed not to take any children that have not been registered.

This has driven many birthmothers to choose unsafe ways of abandoning their babies, and many babies have lost their lives.  Thankfully there have been many babies that have been saved, especially by the effort of the Pastor Lee and the Baby Box. 

Another aspect of the new law that goes against the adoption culture is that in the past most of the domestic adoptions in Korea were done in secret.  Adoptive parents adopted their children in secret and the children grew up not being aware of their adoptions.  Because the culture in Korea is heavily into face-saving, many parents who can’t have children adopt children secretly and pretend to others that the children were born from them.  But the new law comes around and removes this option of secrecy, and this has caused the significant reduction of domestic adoption in Korea as people can no longer adopt secretly.  As I have said before, the irony of the adoption law that blocks adoption.

After the passage of the law in August 5, 2012, the intake of children for adoption by the agencies in Korea has dropped to less than half.  The agencies are claiming that the other half is being made up of illegal black market type adoptions and abandoned children.

If a birthmother chooses to register her child, and if the child gets adopted soon, the baby’s name will be removed from the mother’s registry.  If this is the case the birthmother may avoid the record of the birth registry.  But the problem occurs if the child’s adoption is delayed or no adoption takes place.  The child’s name will stay on the birth registry.  The record will follow with her even when he is put into an orphanage.  This is the reason for the reluctance on the part of birthmothers not wanting to register their babies.

Adoption professionals in Korea emphasize that the Special Adoption Law needs to allow a way for adoptees to be able to trace their birth families and at the same time provide privacy rights for birthmothers.  Mrs. Han Youn Hee of MPAK-Korea president stated, “I question why there is a need to force birthmothers to register babies just to provide the rights to adoptees. The court can keep the adoption records secret, and only open for reviews when both the adoptees and birthmothers agree.” 

I was so happy to see the responses by so many people in Korea and especially by the media against the fallacies of the new law.  This new law, so flawed and so ill conceived, is being scrutinized and the pressure is mounting to relook at the law.  Having the media on our side is very important as this is such a powerful way to convince the mass of people and sway opinions. 

Unfortunately there was no criticism on all the heartaches associated with the intercountry adoption.  This is understandable as all the protests being made by the Koreans nationals are directed to domestic adoption issues. 

I am praying for God’s guidance on how I can impact to help with the intercountry adoption process as I feel so powerless.   Lastly, I want to share with you a powerful Bible verse that my nephew Matthew shared.  "Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger." (Psalm 8:2 NIV). 

I am praying for a quick revision in the adoption law so that children’s lives will be saved, and that children will find homes through adoption. 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Frustrations Mount as Additional Documents are Required

Because many of the readers of my blog have requested an update on the Emigration Permits (EP) situation under the new law, and also some big frustrations have been expressed by many of you on the new document requirements such as marriage certificates, birth certificates, and certificate of citizenship, I am inclined to give some explanations. 

It is especially frustrating when these documents are asked after having waited so long, and to provide these documents may take several months for some.  While many waiting parents may already have these documents in hand, others may have misplaced them or lost.  One reader complained, “Has the agency say anything about delays because you now have to get these additional documents? How utterly frustrating? Even more frustrating is that there is NOTHING WE CAN DO, but comply!” 

I wish I had a magic wand where I could just grant all the wishes come true.

In my earlier blogs, I mentioned that by August 2012, 90% of the quota for the year 2012 has been fulfilled under the older adoption laws (to expedite as many as possible before the new law kicked in by August 2012).  The remaining 10% would be used to process under the new adoption laws as the agencies, the Ministry of Health and Welfare (MOHW), and the Family Court will need some time to learn and apply the new laws into the adoption process. 

This process is still continuing, and to date about half of the remaining 10% cases have been approved with the EPs from the MOHW.  The approved EPs were then submitted to the Family Court by the agencies.  The remaining half has been submitted for EP requests just recently, thus completing the quota set for 2012 (even though they haven’t been fully processed yet).

In the past, when the adoption files were submitted to the MOHW for EP request, the agencies typically attached the translated summary of home study reports.  However, under the new law, the original home study reports must be attached along with the translated summary.  Apparently the lawyers in the Family Court felt that the translated summary version of the home study report isn’t enough to verify what type of families the children were being sent to. 

So the Family Court has asked the agencies to provide the proper documentations to show that the adopting parents and their children mentioned in the home study reports can be properly verified through birth certificates, marriage certificates, and certificate of citizenship.  As a country being prepared to ratify The Hague Adoption Convention, Korea feels that this is a necessary part of the adoption process.

Apparently in the past some agencies required some portion of the documents, but not all of them.  Especially, not all agencies asked for the birth certificates of children living with the adopting parents.  So in anticipation of this and the requirements by the Family Courts for the documentation, the agencies have started to request the additional documents to comply with The Hague Adoption Convention. 

Unfortunately for many, the requests for such documentations should have been made early in the adoption process by the agencies, but I don’t think the agencies could have anticipated that.  It is especially hard for many waiting parents as they have waited so long, and to think that additional efforts to prepare and obtain the documents may add additional months on top of their waiting period…it would be very frustrating for anyone.

So it would be very prudent for all the agencies to ask such documentations from the new applicants.  And for those who are still in the process and waiting, you don’t want to find out about the requirements of these documents late in the process.  So I suggest that you take the action to start the document preparations if you haven’t already done.

In the meantime the agencies in Korea are waiting for the new quotas for the year 2013 to be issued to them by the MOHW (the three agencies have not been informed about the new quotas yet).  But the quota level assigned to each agency will depend on the number of domestic placements the agencies have completed in the year 2012, and other minor factors. But as expected, the quota will be 10% lower this year than the last year.

Friday, December 21, 2012

The Chosen Son - A True Christmas Story of Steve Morrison

This is a true Christmas story of my family in December 2004 that actually happened, and you have to read it to the end to understand the signifcance of the story. This story will tell you a little about who I am, and why I do what I do through MPAK.
 
It was first written in Korean, then translated into English. I heard that many people shared this story on other blogs, and some pastors have used it as illustration on their sermons. I am very privileged that so many have been blessed with this story.
 
 
The Chosen Son – A True Christmas Story
(선택받은 아들 –
진정한 크리스마스 스토리) - 한국어 번역은 맨 아래에 있습니다.
 
I will never forget the special Sunday of December 26, 2004.
My family was visiting my parents for the Christmas Holiday, and I had the opportunity to worship with my parents at their Village Seven Presbyterian Church in Colorado Springs. As members of the church, both of them had served at the church for many years.
It was the day after Christmas, and the church was filled to the capacity crowd. We dropped our kids at the children’s ministry, and my wife and I sat together with my parents to worship together. The church was predominantly white and there were around 1000 people, and it has been a while since we worshipped together. But ironically, the sermon on that day by the Pastor Wheat was on adoption.
 
Anyone who has attended some church services would have most likely heard about how God has adopted us through Jesus and given us the privilege to call Him the “Father”. The pastor spoke about the three important lessons on adoption. The first was that there is a transformation of our “special status”. That is, through adoption, an adopted child is entitled equally with the other children in the family the rights and privileges that the family bestows. Jesus Christ came to this world to give us that right. 
At the mentioning of the words “special status”, I thought about my parents sitting next to me. It occurred when they adopted me, I too underwent a transformation into a special status…from a lowly orphan to a son of great parents. This realization made me to be more appreciative of my parents while my heart was filled with gratitude.

Secondly, through adoption we have special relationships with the God the Father. The pastor claimed that adoption was God
’s idea. Through adoption He has given us the right to call him “Father”. The pastor used an example where many adoptees become curious about their backgrounds and later ask the question “Why?” to the parents. “Why did my birthmother abandon me?” As many adoptees ask this question, they are often shaken by self identify as to who they are, and in some cases they fall into depression.
 
But the pastor stated that he has met many adoptive parents whose children asked such questions, and these parents have taught him some valuable lessons. The lessons came from what the parents said to the adopted children. They would say, “Do you feel you have been abandoned? We don’t fully understand how you came to be in this world, but one thing that is very clear to us is that we wanted you in the first place, and ‘we chose you’. Because of that you are more precious to us than anything in the world.”
The pastor then stated that likewise, God has chosen us while we were yet sinners, and because He has adopted us, we now have special relationship with Him.
 
As I reflected on the statement, ‘We chose you’, I again thought about my parents sitting next to me. I thought about the hopeless days of living in an orphanage long ago. I also remember the time when my picture was featured on Holt’s newsletter at the end of my 13th year. 

In that issue of the newsletter there were pictures of many other children needing homes, and most importantly they were all younger than me. My father looked at all the pictures of the children and his eyes caught mine, and upon seeing my picture, I don’t know what inspired him, but he said to my mother, “Here is the boy. Here is my son.” That day, far away across the Pacific Ocean in America, a man chose me as his son.

As I listened to the sermon I looked at my father. He was now 81, and he could hardly walk even with a cane as he was very weak. I wondered as he was listening to these words what thoughts were running through his mind? And what would my mother be thinking of? I became curious.
Likewise, they were probably wondering the same about their son Steve.
I was chosen and adopted, and through adoption I had a special relationship with them. I was able to experience their sincere and deep love for me. Because of this I was someone very special. My wife and I adopted Joseph from Korea in 2000. Someday my boy Joseph may ask the same question, “Why?” When that day comes I hope to answer him with confidence the words filled with strength and love.
 
The third lesson on adoption was that it renews one’s life. When God adopts a person, He does not try to fix the person up. He doesn’t take apart the wrong things one by one and fix them back. Instead, He renews the person. When I heard this, I realized for the first time that there has never been a time when my parents tried to take my bad habits or behaviors and put efforts to fix them. 

Of course it doesn’t mean that they never scolded me for my mistakes, but all I know is that they never gave up on loving me, and their kindness and love made a new person out of me. They accepted my weaknesses and allowed me to experience a new love, a new family, a new faith, a new hope, and a new dream.

It was evident the pastor
’s sermon moved my mother immensely. After the service my mother got out of her seat and hugged me, and she buried her face in my chest and started to sob. I understood what she was going through. Mother held me for some time and finally lifted her face up to me. Her eyes were red and filled with tears streaming down as she said, “I am so thankful that you are our son.” And then she buried her face again and cried.
 
My heart was indescribably moved, and all I could do was to caress her shoulder. I said, “No mother, it is I who is even more thankful.” My wife was watching this whole episode and she took out my video camera and starting taking shots while tears streaming down her face. I was thinking, “How could she even think about shooting this scene at a time like this?” My wife’s tears were the tears of love. My father also came over and we hugged each other. In a trembling voice, he said, “We truly are grateful that you are our son, Steve.”
 
After the service, my mother and I, along with my kids Joseph and Helen went over to the pastor Wheat to thank him for the message. Later when our family was talking in the hallway, the pastor passed us by. While he was exchanging the greetings with my parents, I directed his attention to my father sitting on a chair, and said, “Pastor, this is the Dad who chose me a long ago.” Pastor Wheat exclaimed, “That’s Wonderful!”, and after exchanging a few more words he went on his way.

In looking back on that Sunday, I couldn
’t help thinking about many things. Was our visit that day a coincidence? Or was it God’s will to bless me with this experience? Or how I was reluctant to drive from LA to Colorado for the Christmas, but my wife, who was at the time eight months pregnant with the fourth child, insisted that we visit my parents for the Christmas.

There are many possible explanations, but I believe our trip to Colorado Springs that winter was divinely guided. It was God’s affirmation of how my parents chose me as their son, as well as God’s way of showing me His story on adoption. The Christmas of 2004 will always live in my memory.
 
----------------------------------
Korean version
 
선택받은 아들 – 진정한 크리스마스 스토리
스티브 모리슨
지난 2006년 12월 26일 주일날은 나에게 특별한 날로 남아있을것이다.

어머니 아버지와 함께 이곳 콜로라도 스프링스에 있는 Village Seven (빌레지 세븐) 이라고 하는 큰 교회에서 예배를 드렸다. 어머니 아버지는 이 교회에서 오랫동안 교인으로서 헌신하며 섬기고 계셨다.

크리스마스 다음날이라 교회는 거의 가득찬 상태였고, 아이들은 초등부실에 맷기고 나와 아내는 어머니, 아버지와 함께 앉아 예배를 드렸다.
백인들이 대다수인 이 교회는 약 1000명의 사람들이 앉아 있었고, 나는 부모님과 함게 같이 예배를 드린적이 무척 오래되는듯 한데 유난히 그날 휘트 (Wheat) 라는 목사님의 설교가 입양에 관한 설교였다.

갈라디아서 4:4-7 말씀을 비롯해서 준비하신 설교말씀인데 "입양에 대한 3가지 교훈" 을 말씀하시는데 참으로 많은 은혜를 받았다. 하나님은 예수님을 우리에게 보내주심으로 우리를 양자 삼아 "아버지" 라고 부를 수 있는 권리를 주셨다는 사실은 교회에 다니는 누구나도 잘 알고 있는 사실이다.

입양에 대한 3가지 교훈에 대한 메세지를 대충 나누고자 하면, 첫째로 입양을 통해서 우리에게 특별한 신분의 변화를 주었다고 말씀하셨다. 입양을 통해서 입양아가 그 가족에 다른 친자들과 동등하게 모든 권한을 똑같이 누릴 수 있다는것이다. 예수 그리스도께서 세상에 오신것은 우리에게 그 권한을 주기 위해서였다.
  입양을 통해서 특별한 신분의 변화를 준다는 말씀을 듣고 나는 옆에 앉아 계시는 아버지 어머니를 생각하게 되었다.  그들이 나를 입양함으로서 나에게도 특별한 신분의 변화가 있었다는 사실
...고아라는 존재 밖에 없었던 아이가 훌륭하신 부모님의 아들이 되었다는 사실을 생각해보니 부모님에대한 사랑이 더 높아지며 감사하는 마음이 더 많이 느끼게 되었다.

두번째로는 입양을 통해서 아버지 하나님과 특별한 관계 (relationship) 를 갖게되는것이다.
  입양은 하나님의 아이디어라고 목사님은 말씀하셨다. 입양을 통해서 "아버지" 라고 부를 수 있는 권리를 주셨다.  여러 설교 내용중에 한가지 예를 들면서 말씀하시는데, 많은 입양인들이 자기들의 입양에 대해 궁굼해 하며 많은 경우에는 "왜" 라는 질문을 양부모들에게 물어본다고 하셨다.  "왜 나의 친모는 나를 버렸나요?" 하는 질문을 하면서 입양인들이 정체성에 흔들리며, 심한 경우에는 우울중에 빠지는 입양인들도 많다고 하셨다.  그러나 목사님은 그러한 입양인들을 키우는 많은 입양부모들을 만나 보셨다고 했다
. 입양 부모들을 만날때마다 정말로 훌륭한 교훈을 배우게 되었는데, 그것은 양부모들이 그러한 입양인들을 보고 하는 말이었다고 하셨다.

"네가 버림 받았다고 생각하니?
  네가 어떻게 이 세상에 태어나게 된것은 우리가 알 수 없지만, 한가지 사실은 우리는 너를 처음부터 원했고, 또한 우리는 너를 선택했다.  그렇기 때문에 너는 우리에게 이세상 누구보다 더 귀한 아이다
." 라는 마음을 입양자녀들에게 표하는것을 보셨다고 했다. 그같이, 하나님께서도 우리가 죄인이었음을 불구하고 우리를 선택하셨다고 말씀하시며, 하나님께서 우리 인간들을 입양하셨기에 우리는 이제 하나님과 특별한 관계를 갖고 있다고 말씀을 하셨다.

"우리는 너를 선택했다" 라는 말씀을 듣자마자 나는 옆에 앉아 계시는 부모님을 다시 생각하게 되었다. 고아원에서 자라며 회망이 별로 보이지 않던 시절을 생각하게 되었다. 그리고 내가 13세말 되었을때에 홀트 잡지에 나의 사진이 실려나온것을 보게 된 기억이 난다.
  그 잡지에는 다른 많은 아이들의 사진들도 실려 있었고, 또한 그 아이들 모두가 나보다 나이가 더 어린 아이들이었다. 나의 아버지는 여러 아이들의 사진을 보시고, 또한 나의 사진을 보시게 되었다.  그 사진을 보신 아버지는 어떠한 이유로 용기가 생겼는지, 어머니에게, "바로 이 아이가 우리 아들이요." 라고 말씀하셨다고 한다.  그날 나는 머나먼 태평양을 넘어 미국에 계시는 한 아버지로부터 선택을 받게 되었다.  


설교 말씀을 들으며 아버지의 얼굴을 보았다.
  이제 81세 연세로 많이 연약해 지셨고, 지팡이로 간신히 조금씩 힘들게 걸으시는 아버지...지금 이 말씀을 들으시면서 어떠한 생각을 하고 계실까?  그리고 어머니는 무슨 생각을 하고 계실까? 나는 궁굼했다. 그들도 아들 스티브가 어떠한 생각을 하고 있을까? 라고 질문을 가지셨을 것이다.

선택을 받아서 입양이 되었고, 입양을 통해서 나는 아버지와 어머니와 특별한 관계를 가지고 있으며, 나는 그들의 진실된 사랑을 뼈속 깊히 느끼고 있었다.
  그렇기 때문에 나는 그들에게 특별한 아들이라는것을 느낀다.  우리가 입양한 조셉도 언젠가
"왜" 라는 질문을 하게되면 자신있게 조셉에게 사랑과 힘이 되는 말을 할것이다.

세번째 교훈은 입양은 한 생명을 새롭게 (Renewed) 만든다고 하셨다. 한 사람이 하나님으로부터 입양이 되면 하나님께서는 그 사람을 고치려고 하지 않으신다고 하셨다.
  잘못된것들을 하나 하나씩 뜻어 고치려 하지 않고 그 사람을 새롭게 만드신다고 하셨다
.

이 말씀을 듣고 나는 부모님을 다시 생각하게 되었는데, 정말로 부모님은 나의 못된 버릇이나 행동을 뜯어 고치려고 노력 조차도 하지 않은것을 기억한다.  그렇다고 부모님께서 내가 저질은 실수를 지적하지 않거나 말을 하지 않은것은 아니지만, 그들은 끈임없는 사랑으로 나를 새롭게 만들어 주신것을 알 수 있다.  나의 약한점을 그대로 받아 주셨으며 새로운 사랑, 새로운 가정 분위기, 새로운 신앙, 새로운 희망, 그리고 새로운 꿈을 가질 수 있게 만들어 주셨다.

이 설교 말씀을 들으신 어머니는 너무나 감동을 받으신 모양이었다.
예배가 끝난 후 자리에서 일어나니 어머니께서 내게 다가와 나를 꼭 껴안으시면서 얼굴을 내 가슴에 뭍힌체 울움을 터트리셨다.
  나는 어머니의 마음을 충분히 이해할 수 있었다.  어머니는 나를 오랫동안 껴안아 주시면서 끝내 얼굴을 드시고 나를 처다 보셨다. 어머니의 눈은 빨갛게되어 눈물에 젖어 있었고, 말씀하시기를, "나는 네가 우리 아들이 된것에 너무나 감사하고 있다." 라고 말씀하시며 또 내 가슴에 기대며 울움을 터트리셨다.

나의 마음은 표현할 수 없이 매우 감동을 받은체 어머니를 어깨를 쓰다듬어 주며 어머니에게, "아니요, 오히려 제가 더 감사해요." 라고 겨우 말했다. 이 장면을 지켜보던 아내는 눈물을 흘리며 가지고 있던 비디오로 그 장면을 찍었다.
  나는 아내가 눈물을 흘리며 어떻게 이러한 장면을 비디오로 찍을 생각 까지 했을까 한것에 놀랬다.  나의 아내의 눈물은 정말로 아름답고 사랑이 가득찬 눈물인것을 볼 수 있었다.  그다음 나는 아버지를 꼭 껴안아 주며 정말로 감사하다고 말했다. 아버지도  약간의 흔들리는 목소리로
"정말로 네가 우리와 함께 있어서 고맙다." 라고 말씀 하셨다.

예배 후 어머니와 조셉, 그리고 헬렌과 함께 휘트 목사님을 찾아가 인사를 드렸다.
  나중에 우리 가족은 교회 복도에 나와서 아버지와 함께 이야기 하고 있는데, 휘트 목사님께서 지나가게 되었다.  그는 부모님께 반갑게 인사를 하시는데, 나는 앉아계신 아버지를 지적하며 목사님께 고백했다.  "바로 저의 아버지가 저를 선택하셨습니다." 라고 말을 하니, 목사님께서 상당히 기뻐하시면서 하시는 말씀이, "That’
s Wonderful!" 하시며 몇마디 더 나눈 후 에 해어졌다.

주일날의 경험이 우연이었을까? 아니면 이러한 경험을 주시려고 하나님께서 임신 8개월이나 된 나의 아내가 장거리 여행을 삼가해야 하는 처지에 이번 크리스마스때 꼭 콜로라도로 가자고 주장 했는지. 아무튼  이번 크리스마스는 우리 모두에게 특별한 추억을 주게된 기회이다.